


NeverWatch: The Classified Files

by AttackPlatypus



Category: Battle Net, Blizzard - Fandom, Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Overwatch - Freeform, Overwatch Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2018-12-20 09:45:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 28,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11918253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AttackPlatypus/pseuds/AttackPlatypus
Summary: The following are the recordings made as part of a planned documentary about the day to day lives of the new Overwatch. This project was initially authorized by Strike Commander Jack Morrison in an attempt to ensure continued public access and interest to the new organization. Unfortunately, after several months of filming approval was withdrawn by Morrison. All recordings were then given the highest security designation possible, to ensure they were never seen by another soul. Recently however, due to the actions of a rogue hacker known only as ‘Sombra’, these recordings were released onto the dark web





	1. Chapter 1

Episode One: Welcome to Overwatch  
Location: New Overwatch Headquarters Ship O.W.S Rebirth, at Sea

(Chief Engineer Torbjorn Lindholm is searching the shelves of a storage room as he argues with Captain Reinhardt Wilhelm)

Torbjorn: For the last time Reinhardt will you drop it! 

*inspecting several components on a shelf he pushes aside several omnic parts before moving to another nearby shelf*

Reinhardt: I just want to know why you won’t even consider it! Just think of the possibilities my friend! You’d make a fortune off the merchandise alone!

Torbjorn: *growls in exasperation and frustration* “Merchandise? What in earth would I need with merchandise Reinhardt? I’m an engineer not a damn toymaker!”

*Still not finding the component he is seeking he begins opening various drawers and tossing aside bits of scrap*

Reinbardt: But toys are just the beginning my friend! Think about all the possibilities! And the good publicity it could bring to Overwatch I-

*He is cut off by Tobjorn slamming closed a drawer and turning quickly. In his left hand he holds a metallic cylinder*

Torbjorn: For the last time Reinhardt I will NOT begin calling my turrets TORBETS!

*As he finishes saying this he exits the room with Reinhardt following, though slowly as he has to duck to fit through the hatchway*

(Cut to one on one interview with Reinhardt)

Reinhardt: Oh yes! I LOVE the idea of a reality show about Overwatch, oh excuse me the NEW Overwatch-

Documentarian (off camera): It’s actually a documentary and not a reality show…

Reinhardt: Yes yes of course, but as I was saying I love the idea! What a way for us to connect with the people of the world! Mein Gott I wish I’d thought of it the first time around! Think how I would have look on camera with my hair…

Documentation (off camera): Right but about your “torbets” conversation with the chief engineer…

Reinhardt: Oh that? Torbjorn may seem to be nothing more than a little grumpy man but I know him! He thinks it’s a good idea, trust me!

(Cut to one on one interview with Chief Engineer Lindholm)

Torbjorn: *looking down and shaking his head* It is the STUPIDEST idea I’ve ever heard…

(Cut to shot of Reinhardt and Torbjorn side by side in elevator, due to technical limitations the shot cuts off all but the top of Torbjorn’s head)

Reinhardt: ....what about-

Torbjorn: NO!

*pause as easy listening music plays*

Reinhardt: *opens mouth to speak*

Torbjorn: No!

(door opens and both men exit the elevator into a very large corridor that runs the length of the ship, Torbjorn hurries away from the elevator with Reinhardt following)

Reinhardt: *pause* ....What about Torbet plushies? Or maybe Torbet candy dispensers-”

Torbjorn: Isn’t there some work you need to be doing Reinhardt? Something to hit with a hammer or some more delicate equipment that you can damage so my crews and I have to spend all night fixing it again?

Reinhardt: Don’t try to change the subject my friend, we both know that if your equipment is so delicate that it can’t handle a LITTLE bump-

Torbjorn: YOU ROCKET CHARGED THROUGH A BULKHEAD! We’re on a ship Reinhardt! Knocking holes in walls is very VERY stupid

Reinhardt: And you fixed it up marvelously my diminutive friend! And it’s because of hard work like that that I think you deserve the rewards that will come from my plan!

Torbjorn: When are you going to let this go?

(Both men pass the sickbay and see Dr. Angela Zeigler aka Mercy though a window sitting at her desk, seeing their attention she quickly looks back down at her computer but Reinhardt approaches the window)

Reinhardt: *tapping on the glass* DOCTOR ZEIGLER! DOCTOR ZEIGLER! Excuse me! But will you help me convince our cantankerous friend of something!

Mercy: *closes her eyes for a moment and sighs before touching a control that opens the glass between them* Reinhardt I am not getting involved in whatever-

Reinhardt: Don’t you think Torbjorn should call his turrets ‘torbets’?

Mercy: I-

Torbjorn: *marches up to stand beside Reinhardt* It’s a stupid idea and I won’t do it. He’s only excited about it because he wants to sell toys and lunch boxes and-

Reinhardt: LUNCH BOXES? What a brilliant idea! We could-

Mercy: Gentlemen-

Reinhardt: ...in different colors and pictures with-

Torbjorn: ...No no no-

Mercy: Gentlemen-

Reinhardt: ...and each could come with something else-

Torbjorn: ...no! No! No!-

Mercy: GENTLEMAN! *both Reinhardt and Torbjorn turn to look at Mercy in surprise as she yells, looking sheepish she clears her throat* I am very busy gentleman and I am not going to get involved in whatever this is so…

Reinhardt: But doctor Zeigler!

Torbjorn: It was his stupid idea!

Mercy: I don’t care whose idea it was! Now I am going back to work! Good day gentleman! *she sits back down at her desk and closes the window with a button*

Reinhardt: But doctor! Angela! Don’t you see it-

(Mercy hits another button on her desk and metal shutters clang down on the inside of the window)

Mercy: *voice faint from behind the glass and shutters* This is me NOT getting involved!

(Cut to one on one interview with Mercy)

Mercy: When Strike Commander Morrison asked me to rejoin Overwatch I was...very skeptical. But I agreed because I thought I would be able to do some real good with my medical research here. It has...not...worked out that way so far. I have constantly had to run from one medical “emergency” to another. Yesterday it was unsticking D.Va’s tongue from a can of Mountain Dew that she had tried to ‘cool’ with Dr. Zhou’s weapon

*Shows clip of D.Va desperately trying to pull a frozen can off her tongue as Mercy stands to one side looking horrified*

Mercy: Last week it was nursing Zarya through an infection she got after eating directly from a jar of peanut butter that Winston had been dipping his finger in

*Shows clip of sick looking Zarya bent over a bucket as Mercy pats her back*

Mercy: And then there was the time when Zenyatta decided he would be nice and cook some of the crew dinner

*Shows clip of crestfallen Zenyatta looking on as several crew members gag and cough over bowls of ‘chili’*

Mercy: Yeah so...Omnics don’t actually have taste buds and so Zenyatta, honorable though his intentions were, had no concept of when he’d added enough habanero peppers to the chili...all those crew members lost their sense of taste *she lets out a heavy sigh and runs a hand over her face* sometimes I think I should just keep them all away from all food...*long pause, looks at the camera helplessly*...I just want to do some research! 

(Rejoin Reinhardt and Torbjorn as they enter the latter's main workship)

Torbjorn: ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! If I agree to think about your damned idea will you just let it go for now!

Reinhardt: That all I’ve been asking this whole time!

*Torbjorn mutters darkly but doesn’t say anything as he steps into the large room and nods to Bastion who is sitting on a stool in a far corner*

Torbjorn: You didn’t touch anything did you?

Bastion: Bweep Booooooop Boop

Torbjorn: Good...well...good…

Reinhardt: BASTION! How are you my robotic comrade!

Bastion: BooWeeeep Boop 

Torbjorn: He says your torbet idea is stupid!

Bastion: Blzzzrt Blzzzrt! *shakes head forcefully*

Torbjorn: You listen here you bucket of bolts I will- *turns to look at Bastion and sees crudely painted pachimari on Bastion’s chest* what the, who did?...*growls* oh I’m going to maker her sorry for this

*Torbjorn crosses to Bastion and and rubs furiously at the painting with his forearm, finding it remains unchanged he stomps over to a intercom unit and pounds on the transmit button*

Torbjorn: OXTON!

*slight delay before the distorted voice of Lena ‘Tracer’ Oxton crackles back through the speaker*

Tracer (on intercom): Torbjorn? Is that you love?

Torbjorn: Don’t ‘love’ me Oxton! What did you do to Bastion!

Reinhardt: Hello Tracer!

Tracer (on intercom): Hello Reinhardt! Are you there too? Did Torbjorn agree to your torbet idea?

Reinhardt: No! He says it’s stupid! Can you imagine?

Tracer (on intercom): But it would be so cute!

Reinhardt: Exactly! But-

Torbjorn: What did you paint on Bastion!

Tracer (on intercom): Oh it’s a pachimari!

Torbjorn: What on earth is a pachi-...pachi...whatever that is!

Tracer (on intercom): oh it’s this cute little character who-

Torbjorn: WHY did you paint one of them on Bastion!

Bastion: Foooweep

Torbjorn: You be quiet!

Tracer (on intercom): But he seemed so happy as I was doing it!

Bastion: Chrrr Chrrr Chrrr

Torbjorn: It’s going to take a long time to clean off his chasis!

Bastion: Bwooooooo

Tracer (on intercom): ...you could always leave it on….

Bastion: Fweep Fweep

Torbjorn: Don’t paint anything or ANYONE in my workshop again without my permission! 

*he angrily turns off the intercom*

Reinhardt: That was harsh my friend

Torbjorn: Well...she shouldn’t even be in here without asking

*Reinhardt and Bastion exchange a look and both shrug, Torbjorn works in silence for several minutes on the part he retrieved from the storage room*

Reinhardt: What are you working on?

Torbjorn: This! *turns around triumphantly to wave his mechanical left arm*

Bastion: Bwrrrp

Torbjorn: Well of course it looks identical you rickety toaster! But look what it can do! *the claw at the of his arm abrupt telescopes outward to a length of two meters*

Reinhardt: HAHA Good! That should help you reach all those top or middle shelves you can’t get to! 

Torbjorn: *stiffens and slowly straightens* ...was that a short joke…

Reinhardt: Of course it was!

Torbjorn: I see….

Bastion: Fwoooooooo…

Torbjorn: take...it...back!

Reinhardt: *smiling as he removes his hammer from his back* NEVER!

Torbjorn: *grabs his own hammer from his workbench and launches himself at Reinhardt* RARGHHHHH!!!!!

Reinhardt: FOR GLORY! *charges toward Torbjorn*

(Cut to shot of Strike Commander Jack Morrison working at his desk, there is a dull thudding sound as dust floats down from the ceiling)

Morrison: *sighs and hits a button on his desk* Doctor Zeigler?

Mercy: Yes Commander?

Morrison: Please report to Torbjorn’s workshop, expect injuries

Mercy: ...gottverdammt…

Morrison: Morrison out

(Cut to one on one interview with Morrison)

Morrison: Somehow I doubt Doomfist has to deal with this sh-

*Closing title screen*


	2. MovieWatch: D.Va/Mei/Tracer/Winston

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> D.Va tries to organize a movie night with some help from Mei while Tracer tries give Winston some dating advice

Episode Two: MovieWatch  
Location: New Overwatch Headquarters Ship O.W.S Rebirth, Northwest Passage en route to Pacific

(Following Lena ‘Tracer’ Oxton as she sprints down a long corridor painted in nautical grey aside from an Overwatch blue and yellow stripe on the wall. Camera jerking and shaking wildly as the operator tries to keep up with Tracer)

Tracer: *looking back over her shoulder* Hurry! 

*over the sound of the camera operators labored breathing we hear distant shouting, screeching, and beeping*

Tracer: *reaches hatch and pauses to speak to the operator* when we get in there I need you to STAY BACK, we don’t know what’s going on yet *she turns back to the hatch, draws her pistols, and takes three quick breaths before throwing it open*

*blue flash as Tracter vanishes and reappears several feet into a large room full of workout equipment*

Tracer: ALRIGHT EVERYONE-... 

*Tracer trails off as she looks up to see a yellow bird twittering loudly and angrily as it flits around the room chasing and being chased by a small white robot with glowing blue eyes, the robot emitting loud and angry beeps and blurting noises. Standing below them are Dr. Mei-Ling Zhou and Bastion, both are shouting up at the bird and robot in Chinese and with loud beeps and hoots respectively*

Mei: Xuě qiú! Nǐ xiànzài tíngzhǐle! *translation subtitle: Snowball! You stop that right now!

Bastion: Blrrt Blrrt! Bzzzzrp!

Mei: *turns to look at Bastion* Tell your bird to leave Snowball alone!

Bastion: *head swiveling to face Mei* Bweeep! Beep! Beep!

Mei: I can’t understand you! Yúchǔn de jīqìrén! *translation subtitle: Stupid Robot!*

Bastion: ZZZTTT Bleep Bleep Bzzzrp Blart!

Tracer: Uh...guys?

Mei: Shénme? *translation subtitle: what?*  
Bastion (simultaneously): Fweep?!

Tracer: What...whats? Going on?

*Bastion begins beeping and Mei talking at the exact same moment as as Tracer looks back and forth quickly between them as their voices merge into one incoherent sound, this goes on for several moments before a loud voice shouts from across the gym*

Ana: Attention!

*Tracer, Mei, and Bastion automatically snap to ramrod straight postures of military attention while in the air Snowball stops moving entirely as the bird also brings it’s wings flat to the sides of it’s body. From a far door comes Colonel Ana Amari*

Ana: What is going on here?

*No one speaks as there is a small thud from behind them as the yellow bird, its wings still held rigidly at its side, hits the deck*

Ana: Anyone?

*No one speaks for a moment before Tracer clears her throat*

Ana: Oxton?

Tracer: Well ma’am I heard a commotion so I came here to investigate and… *she trails off and waves toward Bastion and Mei

Ana: I heard the same commotion, would anyone like to explain to me what it’s about?

Mei: Well ma’am, I was here working out *she waves toward an elliptical* when Snowball and Bastion’s bird-

Ana: Ganymede

Mei: What?

Ana: The birds name is Ganymede

Mei: Alright...in any case Snowball and ah...Ganymede were fighting so I tried to make them stop when Bastion came over-

Ana: *turns to Bastion* And why were YOU in here Bastion?

Bastion: Beep Beep Beep Boop Beep Bzzt Fweeeeep Awooooo

Ana: I meant why as in why would you be here at all Bastion, Omnics don’t need to exercise

Bastion: *extremely long sequences of noises*

Ana: *hand over her eyes and shaking her head* That is not what Reinhardt meant when he said you could get bigger guns by spending time in here Bastion, and in any case I think your weapons are perfectly adequate as is

Bastion: *long disappointed beep as he looks at his arm cannon*

Ana: Oxton, be about your business *Tracer salutes and leaves the gym* Doctor Zhou keep your robot under control or leave it in your lab!-

Mei: *murmuring* Snowball…

Ana: What was that Doctor?

Mei: His name is snowball...ma’am

Ana: *waves her hand dismissively* I can’t be bothered with the name of everyone’s pet’s name Zhou! I have a lot of important things to remember!

Mei: But-

Ana: Bastion, keep Ganymede under control as well! *she stares at Bastion before her face softens* and take him down to see Dr. Zeigler

Bastion: Boooooop Beep *he bends down and and scoops up Ganymede before clomping out of the room*

Mei: But colonel!

Ana: *sighs in exasperation* What now Doctor?

Mei: With respect ma’am, it seems like you’re being a bit unfair don’t you think? Why should Bastion’s pet bird-

Ana: Best friend and roommate

Mei: *purses her lips and closes her eyes for a moment before continuing* why should Ganymede get special treatment and not Snowball?

Ana: *stares at Mei incredulously* ...he’s Ganymede...that will be all doctor, dismissed.

Mei: But-

Ana: I said dismissed! 

*Opening Credits play*

(Open on one on one interview with Dr. Mei-Ling Zhou)

Mei: I’m not saying I don’t understand Colonel Amari’s position about Ganymede and Snowball but...I don’t

(Cut to front on view of Mei walking down the down a corridor muttering to herself in Chinese as she is joined by Hana ‘D.Va’ Song who hurries up from behind her)

D.Va: Hi Mei! How are you?

Mei: I don’t want to talk about it

D.Va: oh...OK...umm...I think I have something that will cheer you up! *big grin on her face*

Mei: *relenting* whats that?

D.Va: It’s that time of the month again!

Mei: *blushes and looks up and down the corridor* Hana! Keep your voice down!

(they pass an Overwatch crewman heading in the opposite direction, one of whom is laughing softly at D.Va’s words)

D.Va: What are? *comprehension hits her face and she turns to shout after the crewmen* oh very very funny Carl! You weren’t so giggly when I kicked your ass three games in a row last night! 

(the crewman puts his head down and hurries away)

D.Va: That’s what I thought!

Mei: What video game was it?

D.Va: Video game?

Mei: That you beat Carl in last night?

D.Va: *stares at Mei with an annoyed expression* It was in fencing…

Mei: They made a fencing video game?

D.Va: It wasn’t a video game!

Mei: Oh…

D.Va: *clearly exasperated* I have other interests besides video games!

(Cut to one on one interview with D.Va)

D.Va: *with orange smudge at the corner of her mouth* Yes I WAS a professional video game player, but why does everyone assume that’s all that I do? *pauses to narrow her eyes at the documentarian* what?

Documentarian (off camera): You have something *hand appears and points at D.Va’s mouth*

D.Va: *wipes corner of her mouth with thumb* What is it?

Documentarian (off camera): It’s orange? It’s right...yeah like right there *points again at D.Va’s mouth*

D.Va: Did I get it? *wipes her mouth again*

*Documentarian gives thumbs up*

D.Va: *looks at her thumb* oh it’s Doritos dust…

Documentarian (off camera): When were you eating those?

D.Va: Oh just before I got here I was…

Documentarian (off camera): ...playing video games?

D.Va: *looking down* yes

(Cut back to D.Va and Mei walking down the corridor)

Mei: I’m sorry Hana I just thought you might have meant you beat him in some kind of video game

*before D.Va can respond they are interrupted by the voice of Doctor Angela ‘Mercy’ Zeigler over the ship's intercom*

Mercy (on intercom): Anyone who ate the food offered for lunch today in the forward galley should please report to the infirmary in as quick and orderly a fashion as possible for immediate treatment, thank you

D.Va: Just forget about it

Mei: Didn’t you have something you were excited about earlier

D.Va: *brightens noticeably* oh yeah! Guess what time of month it is?

Mei: *reddens slightly* Uh...I don’t know

*D.Va doesn’t respond but beams at Mei for several seconds before Mei’s face falls*

Mei: Oh Hana no…

D.Va: Oh Hana yes!

Mei: *covers her face with her hands* this literally NEVER goes well

D.Va: It will this time I promise! 

Mei: no no no no….

D.Va: It’s going to be MOVIE NIGHT!!!

Mei: Nǐ wèishéme duì wǒmen zhèyàng zuò? *translation subtitle: why do you do this to us?

D.Va: *In Korean* O, gwaenchanh-eulgeoya jinjeonghae *translation subtitle: Oh relax it will be fine

(cut to shot of Winston soldering at his workbench as Tracer cross legged on a nearby crate)

Winston: *working intently* I don’t think now is a good time Lena I’m really busy these days 

Tracer: Oh come on big guy, gotta make time for other things than work you know!

Winston: Mmhmm could you pass me that scanner beside you

Tracer: *picks up the scanner and walks it over to Winston* come on love! You can’t let a few bad experiences ruin your entire social life.

Winston: It wasn’t…*takes scanner from Tracer*...thank you, it wasn’t just a FEW bad experiences Lena, I’ve had had nothing but bad dates since I joined that website *he passes his scanner over the circuit board*

Tracer: Well maybe you’re just on the wrong website Winston, or have you tried meeting someone in a more traditional way?

Winston: *still not looking up from his work* When would I have time to do that Lena? I have a LOT of work to do around here

Tracer: Alright, but what website are you on?

Winston: I don’t see how that's important right now Lena *passing the scanner over his work*

Tracer: Oh come on Winstonnnnn pleaseeeeeeeeee

Winston: *Removes his glasses and sighs* I’m on Coupled.com…

Tracer: Why not eAmore? Isn’t that bigger-...oh….*blushes and smiles awkwardly*

Winston: Yeah…

(Cut to one on one interview with Winston)

Winston: *looking down and sighing* rejected by eAmore…

(Cut back to Winston’s workshop)

Tracer: Uh...Winston love...isn’t Coupled.com a...umm...human website?

Winston: *still working* mmm-hmm

Tracer: And who were these women you were seeing again?

Winston: Well there was Tonya the accountant, and then Jenny the actuary, and Bridget the actress, Lisa the accordionist...

(cut to one on one interview with Winston)

Winston: Yes four dates in a row with women whose job began with the letters A and C I do hear it

(Cut back to Winston’s workshop)

Tracer: I meant that...well...I assume they were all...ah...human...women?

Winston: *turns to look at Tracer with a bemused look on his face* They were also all carbon based...what kind of a question was that?

Tracer: Well...I…

(Cut to one on one interview with Tracer)

Tracer: *incredulous expression on her face* Is it actually possible that he doesn’t get it? Do I really have to explain this? *shrugs at the camera*

(Cut back to Winston’s workshop)

Winston: You’re acting kind of strange Lena...wait did you...oh god...did you eat in the forward galley today? *takes a half step away from Tracer*

Tracer: Since I’m not in Doctor Zeigler’s office waiting for my sight to return, obviously not

Winston: *shaking his head* Yeah those poor folks...Zenyatta REALLY needs to get a handle on his seasoning

Tracer: Why do they let him keep cooking? *shakes her head* anyway Winston about these girls…

Winston: *starts working again* Look Lena I really appreciate your concern but I just think I need to let these things happen on their own, if I’m meant to find someone I will if not then well...I have good friends and my work right?

Tracer: Yeah...I suppose…

(Cut to one on one interview with Tracer)

Tracer: *narrows eyes and shrugs with an incredulous shake of the head*

(Cut to D.Va and Mei in a storeroom, D.Va is filling a basket full of various kinds of snack food as Mei watches)

Mei: Hana I think if anyone else shows up they might want something other than Doritios and Mountain Dew

D.Va: *Hefts basket full of Doritos and Mountain Dew higher on her hip* why would anyone want to settle for second rate snack food?...and of course people will show up!

(Cut to one on one interview with D.Va)

D.Va: So we...well I have been trying to make a movie night happen since the new Overwatch formed, and there have been some...bumps in the road…

(Cut to footage of McCree and Hanzo locked in grapple and snarling as they roll over the shattered remains of a coffee table while D.Va, Mei, Zenyatta, Tracer, Mercy, and Lucio look on aghast and Reinhardt cheers)

McCree: *Rolls on top of Hanzo and starts punching him* EVERYONE HERE SPEAKS ENGLISH! *punches Hanzo again* THERE IS NO REASON! *punches Hanzo again* FOR US *punches Hanzo again* TO USE *punches Hanzo again* ENGLISH SUBTITLES!

Hanzo: *Screaming in a gurgling voice as his nose streams blood* SOMETIMES IT’S LOUD AND HARD TO HEAR THE DIALOGUE! *his hand finds a fallen popcorn bowl and drives it into the side of McCree’s head with a loud clang*

(Cut back to one on one interview with D.Va)

D.Va: I’m confident that this time I’ll get it right

(Cut to one on one interview with Mei)

Mei: Even if you forget the subtitles incident we can NEVER agree on what movie to watch, everyone needs their rest to do their jobs around here so we can’t usually stay up too late. By the time we finish arguing about what to watch we can only see about half an hour of the movie.

(Cut back to Mei and D.Va as they exit the storeroom)

D.Va: ...see THIS time I’ve already picked the movie so we can avoid that problem-...

Mei: But how do you know everyone will like what you picked...

D.Va: Oh don’t worry...it won’t be a problem…

(Cut to one on one interview with D.Va)

D.Va: *Holds up Blu-Ray copy of “Elf”*

(Cut back to D.Va and Mei)

Mei: ...Even if they do, has anyone even agreed to come?

*Zenyatta sticks his head out from a door behind them*

Zenyatta: Phrasing! *withdraws his head back through the door giggling

*Both Mei and D.Va stop and close their eyes for a moment while inhaling through their noses)

Mei: Just ignore him…

D.Va: *opens her eyes and relaxes her pursed lips* well there’s me and then you…*Mei holds up a finger but D.Va doesn’t see it* and I think Lucio will show up, he always does

Mei: I-

D.Va: Oh and we should ask Doctor Zeigler!

Mei: *brightening* Why don’t I go do that now? *without waiting for an answer she hurries away*

(screen read: 2 Hours Later, cut to shot of D.Va pacing with arms crossed tightly in a darkened lounge/kitchen, the room is empty other than D.Va with a large bowl of Doritos and several 2-liter mountain Dew’s sitting on the coffee table)

D.Va: *Muttering to herself* They’ll show up, they allllll will and THEN who will be laughing...stupid everyone...

(D.Va looks up to see Tracer and Winston walking past the hatchway)

Tracer: ...but don’t you think there might be SOMETHING else besides...you know...your work schedule that could be causing these problems…

D.Va: *Hurries to the doorway* Lena! Winston! Hey! Heyyyyyy! 

(Tracer and Winston stop to look at D.Va)

Tracer: ello’ Hana! How are you love?

Winston: Good evening Hana-

D.Va: -Yeah yeah Hi hi sooooooo are you two here for movie night? *looks half enthusiastically half maniacally from one to the other*

Tracer: *Looks at Winston* Umm I didn’t realize we were...doing one of those again-errr I mean tonight

D.Va: Yeah we are! Watching “Elf”! Got PLENTY of Doritios and Mountain Dew...great time right?!

Winston: Umm we would LOVE to but...ah...I need to…

D.Va: *Eyes narrowing* Need to...what?

Tracer: We would LOVE to watch the movie with you love but...ah...Winston...needs to...ahhh calibrate my chronal accelerator...yeah so we need to hurry!

D.Va: *Eyes narrowed* you are obviously lying Lena!

*Tracer looks quickly from from D.Va to Winston and back with a weak smile before vanishing in in a blue flash* 

Winston: *Softly* No wait don’t leave!-

D.Va: *Throws her hands in the air in frustration* sesang-e, jinsim-iya? *subtitle translation: oh my god seriously?* You’re actually blinking away from me Lena? Really? You know what fine I don’t need you either Winston and I will have a GREAT time all by our…*turns to see Winston creeping up the corridor* REALLY?!

Winston: *Stops in mid stride and lets his shoulders slump* umm….

D.Va: *Looking ashen walks to sit down on a stool at the counter* this...is...a...disaster…*looks at Winston* why doesn’t anyone want to watch a movie with me?

Winston: *Sighing and walking over to her to put a hand on her shoulder* Hana...it’s not that we don’t love you, you’re part of the family it’s just...umm…

D.Va: *Takes head out of her hands and looks at Winston* just what?

Winston: *Sighs heavily again* You are...uh...kind of...a little bit...annoying to watch movies with…

D.Va: *Looks up sharply* What?!

Winston: *Takes deep breath and starts talking very fast* you kind of overreact with your gasping and starting which is very distracting, you’re on your phone a lot, you talk through most of the show, and you are ALWAYS spoiling the story for us

D.Va: *Stammering* Wha-? Uh-? I-? When have...when have I EVER done those things? I never I...don’t do...most of those things

Winston: Literally every movie night you’ve ever hosted

D.Va: What?

Winston: *Nods once* I think it’s because you’re so used to playing games that you don’t even realize you’re doing it but….it DOES kind of make it impossible to watch a movie with you

D.Va: *Looks at the floor and back to Winston with a stunned look on her face* I...uh...I think I need to be alone...yeah...like post haste…

*Winston scampers out of the room very quickly as D.Va stands slowly and picks up a remote, she turns off the TV before turning slowly and exiting the room. Camera follows her as she walks almost dazedly out into the corridor*

(Cut to one on one interview with D.Va)

D.Va: Nan moduga silh-eo *subtitle translation: I hate everyone*

*End Show Title Screen*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's just plain old fun to write the 'NeverWatch' series and I hope it not only comes through but that you all enjoy reading it just as much. If you like what you read please leave some kudos and/or a comment and if you're feeling REALLY magnanimous try my other work the 'Jade Cantata' series.


	3. DragonWatch: Genji. Hanzo, Reinhardt, Zenyatta, and Mercy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genji and Hanzo Shimada have been having major interpersonal issues that have started to affect Overwatch, can the mediation of Tekharth Zenyatta help them repair their relationship. Also, Reinhardt Whilhelm makes a startling discovery about a team member.

Episode Two: DragonWatch  
Location: New Overwatch Headquarters Ship O.W.S Rebirth, docked in Honolulu Harbor

(Genji and Hanzo Shimada sit sullenly with their arms folded in the outer office of Strike Commander Jack Morrison, the room is silent save for the tapping of Hanzo’s foot and the low hum of the ship, the conversation between the brothers is in Japanese)

Genji: *long pause* if it wasn’t for you I could be out enjoying some shore leave

Hanzo: Oh did I MAKE you act like a child on our last mission?

Genji: I’m not sure since I spent most of it picking up after YOUR mistakes!

Hanzo: *Half standing from his chair* MY mistakes? YOU are the one who can’t follow SIMPLE instructions and the one who very nearly caused our mission to FAIL!

Genji: Stop giving stupid instructions and I won’t have to ignore them!

Hanzo: *Throws his hands in the air* You know what Genji I am not doing this with you! Lets just sit in silence!

Genji: FINE! *folds his arms and stares at a wall*

*Hanzo kneels on the floor and closes his eyes as he assumes a meditative pose, several moments pass*

Genji: *makes popping sound with his lips inside his helmet*

Hanzo: *presses his lips together and inhales slowly through his nose*

Genji: *begins drumming softly on his chest armor making small metallic sounds*

Hanzo: *releases his breath in a loud shuddering manner as his lips compress further*

Genji: *begins humming the theme song to “Lost Viking” in his helmet*

Hanzo: *still kneeling with his eyes closed* GENJI!

Genji: *stops humming* what?!

Hanzo: WILL YOU PLEASE BE….QUIET!

Genji: What? I’m just sitting here!

Hanzo: you are HUMMING!

Genji: I’m not allowed to hum now Hanzo? Really? You’re even trying to control THAT!

Hanzo: YES! SHUT UP!

Genji: FINE! Sheesh no need to be so testy! *slouches in his seat and folds his arms*

*A minute passes and two flies fly into the room and begin buzzing around*

Hanzo: *breathing slowly and deeply with his eyes closed as a fly begins buzzing around his face*

Genji: *begins humming again*

Hanzo: *Inhales sharply through his nose and without opening his eyes snatches the fly out of midair with two fingers and flicks it at Genji*

Genji: *starts as the fly bounces off his visor with a ‘tink’ sound* what the hell man?

Hanzo: *says nothing and remains kneeling with his eyes closed though with a small smirk*

Genji: *turns to stare at Hanzo for several moments before catching the second fly out of the air and flicking it at Hanzo*

Hanzo: *catches the fly without opening his eyes and then flicks it back*

*the now dead fly continues to be sent zipping back and forth between the two brothers with small ‘swooshing’ noises for several moments before the door to the inner office opens and Colonel Ana Amari steps into the room*

Ana: Gentleman

*both Hanzo and Genji snap to attention, the fly hits Genji’s visor and splatters*

Ana: *narrows her eyes and stares at them for several moments* The Commander will see you both now...and Genji...clean that up

*As Ana turns to enter the inner office Hanzo laughs silently at Genji for a moment before following her inside, Genji’s fists clench as two small windshield wipers begin moving back and forth over his visor*

*Opening Credits Play*

(Open with one on one interview with Colonel Ana Amari)

Ana: As you probably heard Overwatch recently hunted down and apprehended several pirates operating in the Southern Pacific, there were however some...interpersonal problems between Genji Shimada and his brother Hanzo Shimada during the mission that caused some...difficulties…

(Cut to footage of a dozen Overwatch troopers moving carefully along the deck of a cargo vessel with Hanzo in the lead, he scans the area carefully until when a pirate suddenly breaks from cover and sprints toward and open an open hatch)

Hanzo: Over there! *his arm shoots backward to draw an arrow only for him to stumble as the arrow refuses to budge from the quiver* what in the-? *he tugs harder and then gives a strong pull before the arrow finally comes out of the quiver to reveal a rubber chicken stuck to the end, Hanzo looks briefly puzzled and then annoyed as he looks around sharply*

Genji: *Sitting high atop a derrick* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *takes deep breath* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Hanzo: GENJI!! *angrily tosses the rubber chicken arrow aside and draws another which he shoots at Genji*

Genji: *Easily deflects the arrow with his sword while still laughing*

*Sounds of gunfire and shouting from the hatchway the pirate entered*

Genji: Oh shit!

(Cut back to one on one interview with Ana Amari)

Ana: ...and the problems didn’t end when the mission was complete…

(Cut to view of an Overwatch shuttle interior with Strike Commander Morrison piloting, Ana in the co-pilot's seat, and the Shimada brothers sitting in the back bench)

Morrison: ...fuel consumption optimal, and we’re making good time we should be back to the Rebirth early…

Ana: Excellent I should be able to get a jump on these reports we need to file with the UN…

*As they talk Hanzo stares out the window and Genji plays a handheld gaming device*

Hanzo: *elbows Genji without looking away from the window, Genji’s gaming device emits a loud blurting noise followed by a small mechanical voice saying ‘you have died’*

Genji: *elbows Hanzo back harder*

Hanzo: *turns and lightly smacks Genji on the back of his helmet making a metallic clanking sound*

Ana: *turns to look back at the Shimada brothers as both sit up straight and stare directly ahead, Ana stares at them for several moments before resuming her conversation with Morrison*

Genji: *whispering* stay on your side of the seat and don’t touch me!

Hanzo: *still looking out of the window while extending a finger until it is a centimeter from the side of Genji’s helmet*

Genji: Ana! Can you make him stop!

Hanzo: *quickly pulls his arm in* I’m just sitting here Colonel

Ana: Haven’t BOTH of you done quite enough to each other over the course of this mission?

*both Shimada brothers fold their arms and stare out of their windows*

Hanzo: *kicks the side of Genji’s calf*

Genji: Ana-!

Morrison: *slams a fist on the control console* I SWEAR TO GOD THAT I WILL COME BACK THERE AND SHOOT YOU BOTH! I HAVE ZERO PATIENCE LEFT WITH EITHER OF YOU AFTER THIS LAST MISSION!

*the cabin falls silent for several moments*

Genji: *elbows Hanzo*

Hanzo: *takes a small magnet from his jacket and conceals it in his palm, Genji elbows him again, and he slaps the magnet on the back of Genji’s helmet*

Genji: What the helllll…*his voice fades out as the lights on his armor also go dark*

(Cut back to one on one interview with Ana)

Ana: I had to prevent Jack...I mean Commander Morrison, from shooting both of them right there

(Cut to view of Morrison’s office as the Shimada brothers and Ana file in, Strike Commander Morrison is sitting behind his desk as Hana Song, aka D.Va, bends down next to him and points at the monitor on his computer)

D.Va: *in a low voice* no no sir, you need to check which printer you’re sending the document too otherwise it will just print to the last one you used

Morrison: Wait..what? Why wouldn’t it just print to the one in the outer office? It’s closest!

D.Va: *closes her eyes and inhales slowly through her nose* because sir then it would just print to whatever printers were nearby

Morrison: Now it’s saying printer error, what the hell is wrong with this thing

D.Va: *sighing again* I’ll go look at it *leaves the office muttering softly* ...waist of my time, biggest disaster since that stupid movie night

Ana: Thank you Hana

*door closes behind D.Va and the Shimada brothers stand at attention in front of Morrison’s desk while Ana moves to stand behind him to one side*

Morrison: Both of you endangered your comrades and each other with your jackass antics on this last mission

*Morrison pauses but no one speaks*

Morrison: My inclination is to have you both out on your asses for that, but Colonel Amari assures me that you two CAN learn to NOT be dumbasses...so we’ll give that a try since it will mean less paperwork

Both Shimadas: Yes sir

Morrison: Now, here's what you’re going to do in lieu of me shooting you both

(Cut to shot of Reinhardt Wilhelm walking down the ship’s central corridor dressed in workout clothes with his rocket hammer resting on his shoulders)

Reinhardt: *singing loudly as he walks* Das alles ist Deutschland - das alles sind wir  
Das gibt es nirgendwo anders - nur hier, nur hier- *trails off as he walks past the sick bay*

*Reinhardt walks over to the closed and shuttered window to Dr. Angela Ziegler's office and presses his ear to the metal shutters*

Mercy: *muffled from within the office* ...And he ill, he real, he might got a deal. He pop bottles and he got the right kinda build. He cold, he dope, he might sell coke. He always in the air, but he never fly coach….*faintly from inside the office the instrumental to ‘Super Bass’ can also be heard playing

Reinhardt: *to himself* what on earth….*presses his ear against the shutters once again*

Mercy: *muffled from inside the office but now noticeably louder* Boy, you got my heartbeat runnin away. Beating like a drum and it's coming your way. Can't you hear that boom-ba-doom-boom-boom-ba-doom-boom-bass? He got that super bass! Boom-ba-doom-boom-boom-ba-doom-boom-bass. Yeah! That's that super bass!

(Cut to one on one interview with Reinhardt)

Reinhardt: *Smiling and laughing* Was zum Teufel? *english subtitles: What the hell?*

(Cut back to Reinhardt with his ear pressed to Mercy’s window shutters)

Mercy: *muffled from within the office* ...Creep with me as I crawl through the hood. Maniac, lunatic, call him Snoop Eastwood. Kickin' dust as I bust, fuck peace. And the motherfuckin' punk police. You already know I gives a fuck about a cop…*faintly from inside the office the instrumental of ‘Deep Cover’ is playing

Reinhardt: *shocked expression on his face* Angela? I must talk with her! 

*he walks over to the door to the sick bay and pushes through it, the moment the door begins moving the music cuts off and is quickly replaced by a classical arrangement*

Reinhardt: Doctor Zeigler?

Mercy: *clearing her throat and brushing her hair back while talking somewhat quickly* Reinhardt! *clears her throat again* errm I mean Reinhardt hello, is...is everything alright?

Reinhardt: I am well thank you Doctor, I came in when I heard the music…

Mercy: Oh well...I see...that is...well are you a fan of Beethoven then Reinhardt? 

Reinhardt: *looking confused* Beethoven?

Mercy: *smiling while furrowing her brow* yes Reinhardt...the music that is playing right now *points into the air to indicate the sound of Beethoven’s 11th*

Reinhardt: Oh no no I was talking about the song before this one

Mercy: *smiling skeptically* Reinhardt I’ve been listening to Beethoven all afternoon, I absolutely adore his music...so sublime

Reinhardt: But...wait...the song before I came in, it wasn’t Beethoven

Mercy: I assure you it was Reinhardt...are you feeling alright? Auditory hallucinations are very serious *she stands from her desk and grabs a small scanning device* maybe you’d better sit down for me

Reinhardt: No no…*looking confused* I know I heard other music than this...it was...oh what do the kids call it...the hip...hop?

Mercy: *looking at him skeptically* Reinhardt...do I seem like the kind of woman who listens to that music? If you can even call it that?

Reinhardt: I...but…

Mercy: Reinhardt...I am very busy but if you are feeling poorly I will happily admit you, Overwatch needs you at full strength

Reinhardt: No...no...I am fine I just…

Mercy: Well then...I really need to get back to work then Reinhardt, I think you should go back to your quarters and lay down in any case

*Mercy begins hustling Reinhardt toward the door*

Reinhardt: wait wait I KNOW I heard you listening to-

Mercy: Good bye Reinhardt, come back if you feel lightheaded or suddenly dizzy

*the door to sickbay closes behind him and the lock clicks*

Reinhardt: *looking at the sickbay in confusion*

(Cut to one on one interview with Reinhardt)

Reinhardt: You all heard it didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU! *grabs the camera operator and pulls him forward causing the camera tilt widely* tell me you heard it! 

Camera Operator (Off Camera): I heard! I heard!

(Cut back to shot of the sickbay, camera lingers on the closed doors and shuttered windows for several moments)

*music begins playing from inside the sickbay*

Mercy: *muffled from inside the sickbay* Stop, drop, shut 'em down, open up shop  
Oh, no…

(Cut to the Shimada brothers standing in a corridor in front of a hatch painted with the symbol of the Shambali)

Hanzo: This is just so...humiliating

Genji: Well it’s your fault we’re here at all

Hanzo: And it’s unfair, how is he going to be objective?

Genji: *raising a finger in Hanzo’s face* You will show respect, he is always fair

Hanzo: *snorting* I am sure 

*Hanzo knocks on the door and a moment later it opens on it’s own*

Zenyatta: *from inside* Enter friends

*the brothers enter the room, the interior is dark and lit only by scattered candles, Zenyatta hovers over a cushion against one wall while on the floor in front of him are two other cushions*

Genji: *kneels in front of Zenyatta* Master…

Zenyatta: Greetings my student, it is always good to see you 

Genji: *bowing low* your words gratify me master-

Hanzo: Can we get on with this robot?

Genji: *hissing* Hanzo!

Zenyatta: *lifts a hand* Peace, Genji. *inclines his head to Hanzo* it is always gratifying to see you as well Hanzo Shimada

Hanzo: *leaning against the wall behind Genji* I’m sure, let's get on with this then or do you have some crew members to be poisoning?

Genji: *half drawing his wakizashi* You will keep a civil tongue-

Zenyatta: *holding his hands up* PLEASE...friends...we should not begin on such a note

(Cut to one on one interview with Zenyatta)

Zenyatta: Strike Commander Morrison and Colonel Amari have asked me to provide some mediation and conflict resolution training to the brothers, which I was of course happy to do. Recently I have been seeking ways to make myself more useful to the new Overwatch including helping out in the vehicle bay or doing some cooking- *looks off camera* -what was that?

*indistinct voice from off camera*

Zenyatta: uh-huh….uh-huh...oh yes...yes there were some unfortunate ah...accident with some of my meals but I’m looking at it as a lesson learned...human’s can only eat a certain amount of salt…*long pause* but only one person went blind so…

Documentarian (Off Camera): And do you think that your mediation efforts between the Shimada brothers will be more successful?

Zenyatta: Oh I am very confident that things will go perfectly. The brothers don’t actually dislike each other after all, it should be a simple matter to get them talking constructively

(Cut back to shot of Zenyatta’s room)

*The room is in disarray with the furniture strewn around the room and a small fire burning in one corner)

Zenyatta: *looking out from behind an overturned desk and shouting* FRIENDS! FRIENDS! PLEASE! LET’S CALM DOWN!

Genji: *standing at one end of the room with his sword drawn* Ryūjin no ken wo kurae!

Hanzo (Simultaneously): *Standing at the far end of the room with his bow drawn* Ryū ga waga teki wo kurau!

(Cut to shot of several Overwatch crewmembers sitting in a lounge area and talking)

Crewmen #1: ...so then I had to lie and tell her I had a late shift in the engine compartment but now she’s watching the movie in the lounge closest to it so I’ll have to spend the whole evening in the area in case she looks in…

Crewmen #2: Still though...it’s better than having to- 

(Hanzo’s dragons burst through the wall)

Crewmen #1: RUN! *stumbles out of his chair and begins sprinting away*

Crewmen #2: *trips as he tries to follow* Wait! Wait! Don’t leave me! 

Crewmen #1: *shouting over his shoulder* you’re on your own man!

(Crewmen #1 runs past the camera as the camera as the shot begins bouncing wildly while the operators begins to flee from the dragons)

(Feed cuts out followed by cut to shot of Reinhardt walking down a corridor with a determined expression on his face while carrying a large box)

*Reinhardt approaches a hatch and knocks on it several times*

D.Va (from within the room): Who is it?

Reinhardt: Reinhardt!

D.Va (from within room): It’s open!

*Camera follows Reinhardt into a room full of computers, D.Va is sitting at one while Lúcio Correia dos Santos sits on the desk next to her*

D.Va: *looking up from her computer* Reinhardt if your computer still isn’t working please try turning it off and then on again before coming to me

Reinhardt: I still do not think that will work! But it’s not why I am here Hana *turns to look at Lucio* Hello Lucio!

Lucio: Hey Reinhardt, did you listen to that music I sent you?

Reinhardt: I never received it, no CD was ever delivered to me

*Lucio and D.Va exchange looks*

Lucio: No man, there were no CD’s I sent them to you online

Reinhardt: In my electronic mail?

D.Va: *buries her head in her hands*

Lucio: Nevermind man...I’ll burn you some CD’s

Reinhardt: *beaming* Perfect! And music is in fact why I am here! *sets the box down heavily onto the desk next to Lucio*

D.Va: What do you mean?

Reinhardt: I need you to tell me what kind of Doctor Zeigler listens to

*D.Va and Lucio exchange another look*

D.Va: Umm...have you thought about just asking her?

Reinhardt: *waves hand dismissively* I already have! And I think she was lying to me, no, I KNOW she was lying to me!

Lucio: That...doesn’t sound like her…

D.Va: Reinhardt are you sure about this? 

Reinhardt: Positive!

Lucio: Well...what music did you think she was listening to-

Reinhardt: -NOT THINK! I know!

Lucio: *holds up hands* OK OK...what music did you hear her listening to

Reinhardt: Well...I don’t know exactly...I think you kids call it the ‘hip and hops’

*D.Va quickly stifles a laugh*

Lucio: *closes his eyes* ugh...you did NOT just call it that…

Reinhardt: What? Oh I see...make fun of the old man! I’m sorry I am not caught up on the raps

D.Va: *giggles*

Lucio: OK OK before this conversation hurts my heart any more...you think Doctor Zeigler listens to hip hop?

Reinhardt: I KNOW she does!

D.Va: *looking skeptical* Reinhardt that doesn’t sound like her, she seems more like a classical music type…

Lucio: Yeah like some Beethoven types stuff

Reinhardt: NO! NOT BEETHOVEN!

Lucio: *looking shocked* Easy there big guy

D.Va: Yes Reinhardt please calm down

Reinhardt: I am sorry my friends...but I MUST unravel this mystery! 

*D.Va and Lucio exchange yet another look*

D.Va: OK...well….what do you want us to do?

Reinhardt: I was hoping you might use the computers to tell me what kind of music she listens to in her office

Lucio: *holds up a hand and looks incredulous* wait wait wait...hold up hold up….you know that people can listen to music on their computers but not that it can be sent via a message?

Reinhardt: What?

Lucio: Nevermind…

D.Va: Reinhardt you’re asking me to hack into her personal server...even if I could it wouldn’t be right…

Reinhardt: PLEASE Hana I must know! 

D.Va: Reinhardt no means no! It’s not right OR legal

Lucio: Yeah man...hacking isn’t cool

Reinahardt: *looks from one to the other and then reaches into his box and drops a jumbo bag of Doritos in front of D.Va*

D.Va: *her eyes light up for a moment as she stares at the chips before she shakes her head and looks away* Reinhardt you seriously think you can make me do something like this for a bag of Doritos?

Reinhardt: *drops another jumbo bag of Doritos onto the desk and adds a 2-liter bottle of Mountain Dew Gamer Fuel Super Edition next to it*

D.Va: *whispering* the precious…

Lucio: What?!

D.Va: *clears her throat* Nothing… I mean...umm...nothing

Reinhardt: *adds another 2 liter*

D.Va: *stares longingly at the pile for several moments before looking at Reinhardt* ...OK I’m in

Lucio: HANA!

Reinhardt: *Takes a small ceramic frog statue from his box and hands it to Lucio*

Lucio: *snatches the frog quickly* I saw nothing

D.Va: I’ll get right to work and call you when I have something Reinhardt

 

Reinhardt: Good! Thank you! There’s another bag of chips in it for you when you do *turns to Lucio* and I have another frog for you if you help me as well my friend

Lucio: *whispering* I must have it…

Reinhardt: What?

Lucio: *clears his throat* nothing...I mean...what did you want me to do?

Reinhardt: *claps Lucio on the back hard enough to knock him off the desk* GOOD MAN! Now...I need you to tell me about the rap hops…

(Cut to one on two interview with Lucio and D.Va, both are staring guiltily down at their laps as they hold their prizes)

D.Va: ...Don’t judge us

Lucio: *whispering* I’m only a man…

(Cut to shot of Strike Commander Morrison standing outside the hatchway to Zenyatta’s room, the door is half off it’s hinges and smoke is leaking from inside the room)

Morrison: *jaw clenched and hands on his hips as he stares at the mess* what...in...the...hell...happened

Zenyatta: *hovering a few feet behind him* Admittedly...things got out of hand but I think we made some progress-

*he is cut off as he floats to one side to allow a pair of stretches bearing the battered and wounded Shimada brothers are pushed past him*

Morrison: *speaking quietly* things got…out of hand?

Zenyatta: Yes

Morrison: *hand over his eyes* I bet Doomfist doesn’t have to deal with this sh- *he is interrupted by a beeping from his pocket, he reaches down and withdraws a commlink which he turns on* this is Morrison

Mercy (On the commlink): Strike Commander, I’ve begun treating the first casualties from the dragon incident. No fatalities so far and I expect full recoveries from-

*loud crashing noise from the comm link*

Reinhardt (On the commlink): AH HA! I got you-

Mercy (On the commlink): Reinhardt! Will you get out of here! I am very busy!

Reinhardt (On the commlink): But-

Mercy (On the commlink): OUT NOW!

*another loud crashing sound from the commlink*

Mercy (On the commlink): I’m sorry about that Commander, do we have any more incoming casualties?

Morrison: *shaking his head* Just the two morons who caused this mess, they should be there shortly

Mercy (On the commlink): Understood Commander

Morrison: And Doctor?

Mercy (On the commlink): Yes Commander?

Morrison: Let them suffer for a bit *hangs up the comm link*

Zenyatta: Commander?

Morrison: NOT...another...word…

Zenyatta: I’m sorry Commander but I feel it’s important

Morrison: *looks up at Zenyatta angrily* Well?

Zenyatta: Well it’s simply that...no one has commented on the fact that I don’t have my orbs or balls with me…

Morrison: *looking incredulous* what?

Zenyatta: No one has asked me where my orb-...I mean my balls are

Morrison: What are you talking about?

Zenyatta: Didn’t you notice I didn’t have with me?

Morrison: OK…

Zenyatta: Wouldn’t you like to ask?

Morrison: Ask what?

Zenyatta: Where they are

Morrison: Where what are?

Zenyatta: My...you know…

Morrison: *narrows his eyes at Zenyatta and says nothing for several moments* OK Zenyatta...where are your orbs?

Zenyatta: Balls

Morrison: What?

Zenyatta: Call them my balls

*Morrison stares at him for several moments before turning to Aleksandra Zaryanova who has just arrived*

Morrison: Help them clear this place out would you?

Zarya: Da Commander

*Morrison walks away*

Zarya: *stares at Zenyatta for a moment* Where are your...what is the word? Your...floating balls?

Zenyatta: *Spins quickly to face her with his arms spread wide* Why? Do you want to see them? Buy a guy a drink first! *plays the audio file of a rimshot*

*Zarya stares at Zenyatta for several long moments while Zenyatta holds his pose*

Zenyatta: Huh? What do you think? I’ve read that humor can be key in defusing tense situations and boosting workplace morale so I’ve been doing some research on jokes to tell

(Cut to one on one interview with Zenyatta who has a noticeable dent in the side of his head)

Zenyatta: She thought it was funny, I know it

(Cut to shot of the sickbay with the Shimada brothers sitting on two beds as Colonel Ana Amari rebukes them)

Ana: ...irresponsible and conduct unbefitting two Overwatch personnel. This incident will be FULLY documented and put into both of your files. Furthermore you are BOTH confined to quarters until further notice, the only reason you aren’t both being tossed off this ship is that no one was seriously hurt!

Shimada Brothers: Yes ma’am

*Colonel Amari leaves the sick bay and Mercy enters the shot*

Mercy: It is a MIRACLE no one was hurt, what on earth were you two thinking?

Genji: I-

Mercy: QUIET! I don’t want to hear it!

Hanzo: I-

Mercy: I said QUIET!

*She angrily rips a band-aid off Hanzo’s forehead and then jerks a power cable out of Genji’s arm, both brothers flinch as she walks away*

Hanzo: This is all your fault…

Genji: YOU were the one who unleashed your dragons into the ship!

*both brothers stop talking as the door opens and Reinhardt enters the sickbay*

Reinhardt: Greetings my friends!

Genji: Reinhardt

Hanzo: *inclines his head* Wilhelm…

*Mercy comes around the corner of the room and throws her hands into the air*

Mercy: Oh for...not this again! 

Reinhardt: Hello doctor!

Mercy: Reinhardt enough is ENOUGH! You need to drop this ridiculous theory of yours and LEAVE or I will have to report you

Ana: *re-entering the room* Report him for what?

*Reinhardt, Genji, and Hanzo all straighten*

Mercy: Reinhardt has been bothering me all day Colonel

Reinhardt: But, Ana-

Ana: *cuts him off* is this true Reinhardt?

Reinhardt: I-

Mercy: He has some fakakta notion that I sit in here listening to...what is it called?...hip hop music?

Reinhardt: *looks at her shocked* you!

Ana: *cuts him off again* Reinhardt I expect much more out of someone with your seniority

*Mercy moves off to a table and begins sorting papers as the Shimada brothers look at each other in confusion*

Reinhardt: I-...*looks from Ana to Mercy and back and then smiles* I apologize Colonel it won’t happen again, I was really just here to visit my good friend Genji! *slaps Genji on the back with a loud clanking noise and dislodging several metal components from his armor*

Ana: I see…*looks at Genji who is coughing heavily*

Reinhardt: Yes it is, and to apologize to doctor Zeigler for my earlier interruptions *turns to face Mercy* and I do sincerely apologize

Mercy: *looking surprised* oh...well...that's very nice of you Reinhardt

Reinhardt: It’s just that I wanted to come visit my friend Genji and ask him his opinion on several matters. For example I wanted to get his thoughts on the Wu-Tang Clan...clearly just a bunch of no talent hacks only famous for their ties to New York…

*Mercy stiffens as she looks down at the papers*

Hanzo: What?

Reinhardt: Or how Illmatic is actually a terrible album that just has great PR…

*Mercy begins squeezing the paper she is holding*

Reinhardt: And I’d love to hear his thoughts on how Iggy Azalea is in actually one of the best rappers of the current generation if not ever…

*Mercy now squeezing the papers so tightly that the crinkling can be heard*

Ana: *turning to look at the noise* Is something wrong doctor?

Mercy: *takes several breaths before answering* everything is...fine...I have no idea what he’s talking about after all...was that even english? *gives a fake laugh*

Ana: *looks suspiciously around the room* Well...alright then *turns to look at the Shimada brothers* to your quarters and STAY there until I say you can come out

Shimada Brothers: But Anaaaaa-

Ana: NO BUTS!

Zenyatta (From out in the hallway): Well at least that leaves the legs and the- *loud clanging sound* oww….

Ana: *closes her eyes and exhales through her nose* just do it! *leaves the room*

Reinhardt: So Genji...would you say that KRS One is ENORMOUSLY overrated or just hugely? 

*Mercy makes a strangled sound but covers it badly by coughing*

Genji: What on earth are you rambling about gaijin?

Hanzo: Wait...you believe that doctor Zeigler listens to hip hop music

Reinhardt: AH HA! *turns to face Mercy* HANZO KNOWS TOO!

*Genji and Hanzo look at each other and then burst out laughing*

Genji: *struggling to speak through his laughter* OK...OK...oh my god...OK...yes Reinhardt she is very *holds up two fingers on each hand* ‘fly’

Hanzo: *struggling to breath as he laughs* Yes yes...doctor Zeigler...hip hop…*rendered incoherent from laughter*

Reinhardt: *purses his lips and waits for the laughter to subside slightly* I don’t need either of you! I know the truth!

Mercy: *moves to stand beside them and points at Hanzo and Genji* you two can go now, off to your quarters

Hanzo: *stands and throws an arm around Genji’s shoulders* Yes come brother…*more laughing* maybe we’ll see Lucio listening to polka! *more laughter*

Genji: *walking out with Hanzo and also laughing* or maybe Torbjorn watching Sailor Moon! 

*both brothers leave the sickbay howling with laughter*

Reinhardt: *looking uncertain* I…I guess...I MIGHT have misheard but…

Mercy: *puts a hand on his arm* It’s alright Reinhardt, everyone’s ears play tricks on them and let's face it...you’re not as young as you once were

Reinhardt: *in German* da ist kein runter *english subtitles: there’s no call for that*

Mercy: *in German* Wofür sind Freunde *english subtitles: what are friends for?*

Reinhardt: Well...I guess I will go

*starts to leave the office and sees Winston walking past*

Reinhardt: Winston my friend! How are you?

Winston: *stops and smiles at Reinhardt* Good evening Reinhardt, I am well thank you-

Mercy: *calls from inside her office* oh and Reinhardt? 

*Reinhardt turns to face her* 

Mercy: *In German* Ich bevorzuge klassische Westküste Stil Rap am meisten *english subtitles: I prefer classic west coast style rap most*

Reinhardt: *eyes go wide as he points at her* you…*turns to face Winston* you heard her didn’t you! *grabs Winston’s collar and shakes him* you heard her didn’t you! DIDN’T YOU

Winston: *voice shaking as Reinhardt jerks him back and forth* Reinhardt what are you?!- *pushes himself away from Reinhardt and adjusts his glasses*

Reinhardt: YOU HEARD HER? DIDN’T YOU?

Winston: Reinhardt! CALM DOWN! I don’t even speak German! *walks quickly off in a huff*

Reinhardt: *looking after him in shock before turning back to Mercy and speaking German* Warum?! *english subtitles: why?!” 

Mercy: *smiling sweetly and responding in the same language* Weil mein lieber Reinhardt, niemand wird dir jemals glauben, wenn du es dir erzählst *english translation: because my dear Reinhardt, no one will ever believe you if you tell them about this*

*door closes behind her leaving Reinhardt to stare in shock after her, several moments later music begins playing from inside the sick bay*

Mercy (From inside the office): I'm going down down baby your street in a Range Rover. Street sweeper baby, cocked ready to let it go. Shimmy shimmy cocoa what...(*instrumental of Nelly’s “Country Grammar” playing faintly)

(Cut to one on one interview with Reinhardt)

*Reinhardt staring down in shock as he slumps in his chair*

Reinhardt: I just….I don’t….

(Cut to one on one interview with Mercy)

*Instrumental of KRS One’s “Sound of da Police” playing loudly as she dances in her chair*

Mercy: Woop-woop! That's the sound of da police! That's the sound of the beast!...*turns down the music and beams at the camera* I really do love it, hip hop I mean, I love ALL of it! *turns the music back up*

(Closing Title Screen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again pleased to bring you this edition of 'NeverWatch' and I hope you enjoy it, comments and kudos are always appreciated it
> 
> Side note: WOULD LOVE to collaborate with anyone would be interested in writing a similar series about Talon and it's members, hit me up at attackplatypusbooks@gmail.com if you're interested :)


	4. RomanceWatch: Ana, Pharah, Zarya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love is in the air aboard the Rebirth as Ana Amari has a new companion and Zarya has a crush!

Episode Four: RomanceWatch

 

Location:  New Overwatch Headquarters Ship O.W.S Rebirth, Gulf of Panama

 

(Opening shot of the Overwatch cafeteria, Dr. Angela Zeigler and Fareeha Amari sitting at a table together with mugs in front of them, Reinhardt Whilhelm sits in a corner alone, other Overwatch personnel are also present)

 

*Pharah rubs her face with the palm of one hand as she adds sugar to her cup as Mercy looks on disapprovingly*

 

**Mercy:** *frowning slightly* You know...you’re overdoing it a bit with the sugar

 

**Pharah:** *adding another packet of sugar to her cup* I have to, it’s the only way I can stay awake all day *yawns heavily*

 

**Mercy:** *pursing her lips* You wouldn’t be so tired if you didn’t pump yourself full of stimulants all day, then you’d actually be able to sleep at a sensible time and thus get an adequate amount of sleep

 

**Pharah:** *muttering into her mug* Yeah...THAT’s why I couldn’t get any sleep last night

 

**Mercy:** *blushing furiously and whispering* Fareeha!

 

**Pharah:** *snorting into her mug* not that!...Though that was a highlight for sure *winks at Mercy who looks away and clears her throat* no it was because SOMEONE was listening to her music until some insane hour, you try sleeping with Redman, Atmosphere, Ice-T- *Mercy clears her throat loudly and elbows Pharah as she jerks her head toward where Reinhardt is now clearly listening in* errr- I mean...Mozart

 

*Reinhardt’s shoulders sag as he hears the final name and stalks off with his empty tray*

 

**Mercy:** *sipping her own mug and muttering* it wasn’t that loud…

 

**Pharah:** It really was, I thought Lucio’s weapon had gone off

 

**Mercy:** You’re exaggerating

 

**Pharah:** Whatever you say dearest

 

*both women look up as Colonel Ana Amari enters the cafeteria, she is accompanied by a tall man who has his arm around her waist*

 

**Mercy:** Who is that?

 

**Pharah:** *sighs heavily* Who can tell these days?

 

**Mercy:** Be nice, your mother is coming over now

 

*Ana makes her way between the tables to where Pharah and Mercy are sitting after dismissing her companion to the food line*

 

**Pharah:** sabah alkhyr’um *subtitle translation: good morning mother*

 

**Ana:** Good morning Fareeha! And to your doctor!

 

**Mercy:** *nodding politely* Colonel

 

**Pharah:** *snorting as she takes Mercy’s hand, Mercy stiffens briefly but then laces her fingers in Pharah’s* You two should probably get used to using each other’s names

 

**Mercy:** *clears her throat* So Colonel, who is your...ah...friend?

 

**Pharah:** Yes, what is that? The third since we made port?

 

**Ana:** *smiling at Pharah* Oh come now Fareeha, surely you’re not STILL being priggish about your mother having a social life

 

**Pharah:** *barks a laugh that sprays coffee across the table causing Mercy to lean back in distaste* A ‘social’ life is it?

 

**Ana:** Honestly Fareeha this preoccupation with who I spend my time with doesn’t reflect very well on you

 

**Pharah:** *Glares* I don’t suppose there’s any point in me pointing out to you that you are still married mother?

 

**Ana:** *blinks in surprise as she sits back in her chair* Huh...I suppose I am aren’t I?

 

**Pharah:** Yes!

 

**Mercy:** *looking confusedly between the other women* Colonel? Your husband is still alive?

 

**Ana:** Oh yes

 

**Mercy:** But...but...I’ve seen you…*Mercy blushes furiously as she concentrates on her drink*

 

**Ana:** *Pats Mercy’s hand* Oh don’t worry dear, Fareeha’s father and I have always had a very open marriage *Pharah chokes into her drink as Mercy’s face gets even redder, Ana pauses to think* I SHOULD really call your father though, we haven’t spoken since before I had to vanish

 

**Pharah:** *sets her mug down and looks incredulously at her mother* Wait wait wait...father doesn’t even KNOW you’re alive and working with Overwatch again?

 

**Ana:** Well I ASSUME he’s deduced that by now

 

**Pharah:** *throws her hands in the air* I don’t know why I’m surprised, after all you didn’t tell ME you were alive either

 

**Ana:** *rolling her eyes* Fareeha my dear you really are too sensitive, I told you already...it slipped my mind!

 

**Pharah:** You know what I can’t with this right now…*looks over at Mercy* anything to add?

 

*Mercy shakes her head before staring at one of the monitors mounted on the wall as Ana waves coyly at her companion who is now walking toward the table carrying to trays*

 

**Pharah:** *sighs again* Could you at LEAST tell me his name if we’re going to have breakfast with him?

 

**Mercy:** *starting to stand* actually I really need to get back to sick bay

 

*Pharah grabs her forearm and pulls her back down into her chair without look away from her mother as Ana looks confused*

 

**Ana:** Fareeha are you feeling well? Your father’s name is-

 

**Pharah:** NO, mother, the name of your...your friend there *smiles toothily at the man who is now halfway to their table*

 

**Ana:** *twists around to look back at him to waggle her fingers before looking back at Pharah* oh...him…

 

**Pharah:** *hissing* Yes HIM!

 

**Ana:** *looking back once more* you know...in all the excitement of last night *Mercy makes a small peeping sound* I don’t think I ever got it

 

*Opening Credits Play*

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Pharah)

 

**Pharah:** So...this morning I learned that my mother and father’s marriage was an open one...so...yeah *looking down and blowing out her breath*...so thats a thing that happened…

 

(Cut to shot from inside the Overwatch vehicle depot, Winston is ushering Zenyatta out of the depot with many thanks and a wide grin on his face)

 

**Winston:** Yes yes thank you Zenyatta, your assistance was invaluable to me today

 

**Zenyatta:** Think nothing of it my friend, I am ever at your call if you need my help. In fact I was thinking I might stop by again tomorrow afternoon after my next session with the brothers-

 

**Winston:** Yes yes! That would be splendid thank you! Have a good day now! *pushes Zenyatta out through the door and closes it quickly*

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Winston)

 

**Winston:** Having been...less than successful...as a chef Zenyatta has decided he’s going to ‘pitch in’ down here with myself and Torbjorn…*takes of glasses and closes his eyes while counting silently* it has...been challenging

 

**Torbjorn (shouting off camera):** It’s been a real pain in the-

 

(Cut back to vehicle depot as Winston tinkers with Lucio’s Sonic Amplifier and Mei’s Endothermic Blaster while muttering to himself, he is joined by Aleksandra Zaryanova)

 

**Zarya:** Obez'yana! *subtitle translation: Monkey* I finished moving those components for you...is...umm...is robot still here?

 

**Winston:** *Not looking up from his soldering* I would point out to you Zarya that I am not, in fact, a monkey...and no Zenyatta just left *murmurs* thank god

 

**Zarya:** Ah...good...good….

 

*Zarya walks away deeper into the depot as Winson continues to mutter to himself, eventually she comes upon Pharah working on her Raptora armor*

 

**Zarya:** Zdravstvuyte *subtitle translation: hello* Pharah!

 

**Pharah:** *raises welding mask and smiles* hey there Zarya, how are you this morning?

 

**Zarya:** I am well...but…

 

**Pharah:** *goes back to welding* but what?

 

**Zarya:** I...uh...I wondered Pharah if you would...if you could…

 

**Pharah:** *stops welding again* What is it Z?

 

**Zarya:** *looking down as she moves a foot side to side* I...never mind I will go

 

**Pharah:** *sets her torch aside and and puts a hand on Zarya’s arm* Hey, Z, don’t do that, what did you need?

 

**Zarya:** I was wondering...if...you...you could advise me on something *still looking down and blushing slightly*

 

**Pharah:** *trying to look both amused and supportive at once* Z...I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen you blush

 

**Zarya:** *bats at her cheek* I am NOT blushing...I DO not blush...it’s simply hot in here

 

**Pharah:** *still snickering* Of course of course...sooooo...what did you need?

 

**Zarya:** *sits on a nearby box and is joined by Pharah* You and...Doctor Zeigler are...well...together yes? What is the English? Ahhhhh dating?

 

**Pharah:** Yessssss why?

 

**Zarya:** Well...I…*fidgeting with her fingers* I have….never….been ah...dating…

 

**Pharah:** *looking surprised* Oh….well….I’m sure you’ll meet someone-

 

**Zarya:** *Not listening* and I think I would like to dating with...Zenyatta

 

**Pharah:** -you know these things always happen you are least expecting it so- WAIT?! WHAT?! *Zarya looks at Pharah surprised at her shout and blinks several times* 

 

**Zarya:** What is it?

 

**Pharah:** I….uh….I’m sorry could you...could you repeat that last bit?

 

**Zarya:** ...Zenyatta

 

**Pharah:** Ah...yeah that’s what I thought I just wanted to be sure…

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Pharah)

 

**Pharah:** *mouth silently* What...the...fuck?

 

(Cut back to vehicle depot)

 

**Pharah:** Sooooo you like...Zenyatta...thats...thats great! You like Zenyatta…

 

**Zarya:** *looking at Pharah with slightly narrowed eyes* Pharah you are repeating yourself

 

**Pharah:** *eyes widening* Oh I...no no...I’m...really happy for you...it’s...it’s cute *smiles weakly*

 

**Zarya:** And I am wondering if you will...help me

 

**Pharah:** Uh…*looking perplexed* sure? I mean...I don’t have any experience with dating omnics but I’ll help if I can

 

**Zarya:** *not paying attention* I...how do I get to the dating with him?

 

**Pharah:** Oh!...well….you could always just...ask him

 

**Zarya:** Just...ask him?

 

**Pharah:** Now whose repeating themselves *points double finger guns at Zarya with a big open mouthed smile, Zarya stares at her*

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Zarya)

 

**Zarya:** Pharah is being...strange…

 

(Cut back to vehicle depot)

 

**Pharah:** I guess I’ll just say you should just ask him? He seems like he’d respect the direct approach

 

**Zarya:** *stroking her chin* Interesting...the direct approach...yes…

 

**Pharah:** You could maybe get him a gift? Thats a nice way to show someone you like them.

 

**Zarya:** A gift?

 

**Pharah:** Yeah, you know...get him something he likes

 

**Zarya:** *stroking her chin again* I don’t know what he likes

 

**Pharah:** *biting her lip* Yeah...neither do I really...what kind of gift do you get an omnic?

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Pharah)

 

**Pharah:** So I asked Bastion but...I can’t understand him and Orissa is off on a mission so we’re basically shooting in the dark here

 

(Cut back to vehicle depot)

 

**Zarya:** Perhaps I could give him something that I would like as gift?

 

**Pharah:** Yeah that could work! Umm...what were you thinking?

 

**Zarya:** *stands up and starts to walk away* a battle axe!

 

**Pharah:** *opens and closes her mouth silently before calling after Zarya* Ummm...Zarya? *Zarya stops and turns back* When...when you say battle axe...do you mean…*makes weak chopping gesture in the air*

 

**Zarya:** Yes, but swing with two hands Pharah, key to maximizing power

 

**Pharah:** Right...right...I’ll make sure and make a note but *holds up a finger* do you think that a battle axe is the BEST possible gift for Zenyatta

 

**Zarya:** Da *subtitle translation: yes* why? Do you not think?

 

**Pharah:** *makes an apologetic face* welllllllllll….I mean I’m sure he’d be flattered but why don’t we keep brainstorming?

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Zarya)

 

**Zarya:** *raising  her palms and looking incredulous* Who would not want battle axe?

 

(Cut back to vehicle depot)

 

**Pharah:** What other ideas did you have?

 

**Zarya:** *looks thoughtful for a few moments before brightening* What about a squat belt?

 

**Pharah:** *grins weakly* a good idea but I don’t think that omnics actually have to exercise so…

 

**Zarya:** But I am seeing Bastion robot in ship gym all the time

 

**Pharah:** *sighs* Oh yeah...don’t worry about that. Reinhardt told him that he could get bigger guns if he went there and-

 

**Zarya:** *looking up sharply* there are big guns in gym?

 

**Pharah:** *blinks once* Nevermind, how about another idea for a gift?

 

**Zarya:** I- *stops talking quickly with a choking gasp*

 

*Pharah looks around quickly as Zenyatta’s face appears around the corner of an up armored Humvee*

 

**Zenyatta:** Hello ladies! I was wondering if you’d seen Winston recently?

 

**Pharah:** *shoots a meaningful look at Zarya but continues when she doesn’t respond* Sorry Zenyatta I haven’t seen him

 

**Zenyatta:** Oh...well I was helping him earlier with Dr. Zhou’s and Lucio’s weapons and I don’t think he’d mind if I just did a bit more tinkering, I had some great ideas! I’ll bid you adieu ladies.

 

**Zarya:** Good-bye now

 

*Zenyatta floats off as Pharah raises a finger and opens her mouth to speak but is distracted by Zaraya punching her temples*

 

**Pharah:** Z what are you doing?!

 

**Zarya:** *smacking her forehead* You see Pharah? I am mess around him...like now, I couldn’t stop myself from...boltovnya, what is the English? Babbling

 

**Pharah:** *half closing her eyes and cocking her head as she opens her mouth before closing it again* I see...well….how long have you...had these feelings for him?

 

**Zarya:** You are kind Pharah...but I am certain you have seen how I become FOOL around him

 

**Pharah:** uhhhhh

 

**Zarya:** Two days ago I see him in corridor and like fool I say “how are you?”, I believe McCree calls that the…’coming on too strong’ yes?

 

**Pharah:** *looking confused* Well I wouldn’t listen too much to Aaron about dating I mean-

 

**Zarya:** *still talking* and on last mission I ask him about weather, I cannot control myself! *pounds her thighs* ugh this is hopeless! *stands up*

 

**Pharah:** Wait wait! *stands up and puts a hand on Zarya’s shoulder* Don’t give up on yourself that easy! Let's go talk about this over some coffee

 

**Zarya:** *looking down* Thank you Pharah but I don’t think coffee will help me now

 

**Pharah:** Vodka?

 

**Zarya:** *smiles* da! *translation subtitle: yes!*

 

(Screen text reading: One Hour Later followed by cut to one on two interview with Zarya and Pharah)

 

*Zarya has her arm around Pharah and both women are swaying back and forth as Pharah holds a nearly empty bottle*

 

**Zarya and Pharah:** *singing* ...My armiyu nashu rastili v srazhyen’yakh, Zakhvatchikov podlykh s dorogi smyetyom!... *subtitle translation: ‘Singing: Be Glorious, our free Fatherland’* 

 

(Cut to shot of Dr. Mei Zhou’s lab where she and and D.Va are speaking to Zenyatta)

 

**Mei:** ...Thank you Zenyatta! I didn’t know you knew how to repair weapons!

 

**Zenyatta:** Oh you know me Doctor, I try to be useful wherever I can be!

 

*loud banging noise and crash as the door to the lab is flung open and Zarya and Pharah stagger in holding each other and laughing before they look around and see Zenyatta*

 

**Pharah: *** giggling* shhh shhhhhhhhhhh he’s here! *gives Zarya a little push*

 

**Zarya:** *staggers into a counter knocking over several instruments before speaking in a slur* YOU! Prekrasnyy *subtitle translation: beautiful* robot! I must talk to you!

 

**Mei:** Ummm...guys...if you could please be careful

 

*giggling Pharah stumbles backward into another table and knocks a computer to the floor*

 

**Mei:** Hey!

 

**Zarya:** *steadying herself on the now empty table* ROBOT! 

 

**Zenyatta:** *rotates in mid air to face Zarya* yes Zarya? 

 

**Zarya:** *slurring* I will be be now...asking..you...to tell you we will be going on date!

 

**Zenyatta:** I see…

 

*Mei and D.Va watch with their mouths wide open even as D.Va moves to help Pharah stand up*

 

**Pharah:** *quietly* uwwwwwww *hiccups* uwwwwwww… Zarya and Zenyatta sitting in a tree...k-i-s-s-s-s….is that too many s’s? *giggling*

 

*a long pause ensues as Zarya sways on her feet while facing Zenyatta who simply hovers silently as he gazes back*

 

**D.Va:** Maybe...we should go…*starts walking Pharah toward the door but Pharah waves her hand in protest*

 

**Pharah:** *slurring* no no no I want to see what happens!

 

**Zenyatta:** *holds up a hand* it’s quite alright Hannah you and Doctor Zhou can stay, I want you all to hear this

 

*all eyes turn to him as Zarya hiccups*

 

**Zenyatta:** *long pause before shrugging exaggeratedly* well you know what they say! The ladies love the Z!

 

*Mei gasps softly as Pharah snorts and begins giggling softly*

 

**D.Va:** *hissing indignantly* ZENYATTA! I can’t believe you-

 

**Zarya:** *bursts into guffaws of laughter* wait wait wait! *picks up a pair of spherical atmospheric sensors from a nearby counter and holds them in front of her chest*

 

**Mei:** PLEASE BE CAREFUL-

 

**Zarya:** *Roaring* Robot! Robot! Look! *hefts the sensors* look at these DOUBLE Z’s!

 

*Zenyatta bursts into laughter and floats forward to put get under Zarya’s arm to help her out into the hallway as they both bellow with laughter leaving the others to stare after them*

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Pharah)

 

*Pharah swaying precariously in her seat as she hiccups and struggles to focus on the the camera*

 

**Pharah:** IIIIIIIIIII am the BEST matchmakerrrrrrrrrr evahhhhhhhhhhhh!!

 

*Mercy steps into the frame and helps her to her feet*

 

**Mercy:** OK you, let’s get you back to your quarters

 

**Pharah:** *giggling* you mean OUR quarters DOCTOR *turning to the camera and whispering very loudly as she points to Mercy* I’m gonna hit that!

 

**Mercy:** *muttering indignantly as she tries to get Pharah moving* Mein Gott! *subtitle translation: My god!”

 

*End Show Title Screen*

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you love this stop gap Neverwatch folks! I'm working on something special for Halloween!
> 
> Got a new series going now as well called "The Blue Lantern", it's a Arrowverse AU and I hope you'll give it a look
> 
> Feedback is welcome and appreciated!


	5. HalloweenWatch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Overwatch crew take on Halloween!

Episode Five: HalloweenWatch

 

Location: New Overwatch Headquarters Ship in New York City Harbor

 

(Strike Commander Jack Morrison stands at the front of a briefing room in front of the senior Overwatch staff)

 

**Morrison:** *gesturing at a holograhic display* ...and in conclusion I think we can now say conclusively what species of animal this ‘Hammond’ is

 

*Affirmative muttering from the assembled group*

 

**Morrison:** *consulting a tablet before continuing* our final item today is a public relations matter…

 

*Course of groans as well as a loud cheer from Reinhardt*

 

**Morrison:** *looks up quickly and the whole room falls silent* ...now I know these outreach missions can be...trying…*flexes his neck from side to side with his eyes closed* but if we’re going to avoid the mistakes of the first Overwatch we need to ensure we keep a positive profile with the public

 

*more subdued groaning as Colonel Ana Amari stands*

 

**Ana:** This year we will be putting on a children’s carnival here in New York, all senior Overwatch personnel will be assisting-

 

*louder groaning*

 

**Morrison:** *steps forward quickly and snatches up his pulse rifle before firing a set of helix rockets into the ceiling causing a small explosion and a hail of debris* QUIET!

 

*dead silence*

 

**Ana:** The assignments will be as follows, the following personnel will be manning candy booths at the carnival and will need to be in costume...Reinhardt, Orissa, Dr. Zhou, Lucio, D.Va, and-

 

*Voices crackles over the intercom interrupting the meeting*

 

**Intercom:** Dr. Zeigler please report to a medical emergency in the requisitions office

 

*all eyes turn to Mercy as she leans forward eagerly over the table staring at Ana*

 

**Mercy:** *continues staring for several moments before looking around and seeing everyone staring* I’m sure they’re fine, now tell me Colonel what will I be doing for this ah...carnival was it? *clears her throat* that is ah...if I can make the time…

 

**Ana:** Uh...doctor? Don’t you think…

 

**Mercy:** *pounds the table*  Sagen Sie mir einfach, verdammen Sie! *Translation Subtitle: JUST TELL ME DAMN YOU!*

 

*stunned silence as everyone stares at her, save for Reinhardt who gasps with a hand over his breast*

 

**Mercy:** *clears her throat* That is to say-

 

**Intercom:** Doctor Zeigler please report to the requisitions office immediately

 

**Mercy:** -I would very much appreciate if you would-

 

**Intercom:** In case we weren’t clear, it’s very VERY bad up here Doctor Zeigler

 

**Mercy:** -if you would tell me-

 

**Intercom:** ...blood EVERYWHERE and is that...is that...yep thats brain

 

**Mercy:** -If you would tell me what my duties will be at this carnival Colonel-

 

**Intercom:** ...pretty sure that limb isn’t meant to be facing that direction…

 

**Ana:** *stares at Mercy for several moments before rolling her eyes* You’re handing out candy-

 

**Mercy:** FICK JA! *springs up and hurries out of the room*

 

(Opening Credits Play)

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Tracer)

 

**Tracer:** So Orissa asked me to come help her with her costume...which...I mean….I think it’s great that she’s dressing up and really getting into the spirit! I just...it’s kind of odd right?...or is it racist that I think that?

 

(Cut to shot of Tracer knocking on a door)

 

**Tracer:** *knocking* Orissa! Are you there love?

 

**Orissa:** *voice muffled through door* Please come in Lena Oxton

 

(Tracer opens the door and steps in to find Orissa standing in the center of a sparse rectangular room)

 

**Tracer:** *looks around* Ah...Orissa love...where is your costume?

 

**Orissa:** *turns to face Tracer holding a plastic costume bag* I recently purchased this while on shore leave

 

**Tracer:** *blinking* You take shore leave?

 

**Orissa:** ...yes….

 

*long awkward pause*

 

**Tracer:** *clears her throat* Can I see your costume then?

 

*Orissa hands the bag to Tracer who turns it over, camera zooms in to show a lable that reads ‘Naughty Nurse’*

 

**Mercy:** *mouth hanging open for several moments* oh...ummmm

 

**Orissa:** *blinks at Tracer* According to my research of over 100,000 relevant cultural sources it is customary for young women to dress in a thinly disguised sexually provocative outfit for the evening of halloween

 

**Tracer:** Well...I mean...I guess it kinda is but…

 

**Orissa:** Of the options I reviewed this outfit seemed to be satisfy the parameters my research revealed

 

**Tracer:** No no I understand love and I...I can’t argue with your analysis It just…

 

**Orissa:** Lena Oxton, your vitals indicate that you are experience embarrassment and distress, are you unwell?

 

**Tracer:** *smiling nervously and blushing* oh no it’s alright love, it’s just…*opens the bag and removes a single fishnet stocking*...are you sure this is your size?

 

**Orissa:** I believe it will be within our collective competencies to make any alterations necessary

 

(Cut to shot of Genji and Hanzo Shimada loading crates into the back of a large hovervan)

 

**Hanzo:** *lifts two boxes* I cannot believe we’re being forced to take part in this nonsense!

 

**Genji:** *looks at Hanzo and then lifts three boxes* mmhmm

 

**Hanzo:** *looks at Genji’s load and lifts four boxes* I mean really...adults getting excited to wear costumes and play games for candy!

 

**Genji:** Yeah...how dumb….

 

**Hanzo:** *angrily grabs several more boxes* and then to expect us to waste our time on this...this...foolishness while Talon is still out there!

 

**Genji:** yep…

 

**Hanzo:** *still angrily carrying boxes* It would be another matter if it were only volunteers but-

 

*Hanzo continues ranting for several minutes as he continues to toss boxes into the back of the van*

 

**Genji:** *slurping noise as he drinks from a juice box*

 

**Hanzo:** *looking angrily* are you going to help?

 

**Genji:** Why? You’ve finished

 

*Hanzo looks around and then archly back at Genji*

 

**Hanzo:** ...You’re planning to wear a costume aren’t you

 

**Genji:** ...maybe…

 

**Hanzo:** *narrows his eyes at Genji* ...out with it

 

**Genji:** *speaking quickly and excitedly* Do you think I should be Leonardo or Michelangelo?

 

**Hanzo:** The painters?

 

**Genji:** I think we both know what I’m going to say to that

 

(Camera focuses over Genji’s shoulder to see Reinhardt and Torbjorn walking past, camera then follows them and joins them mid-conversation)

 

**Torbjorn:** ...no! NO! Absolutely not! This year is my turn!

 

**Reinhardt:** I am not saying it isn’t! What I’m proposing is totally different!

 

**Torbjorn:** HOW is it different? You’re costume is identical to mine!

 

**Reinhardt:** *stopping and shaking his head vigorously* Of course it isn’t my diminutive friend!

 

**Torbjorn:** We agreed years ago that we would alternate who got to be Thor each year!

 

**Reinhardt:** And it your year to be Thor! I am simply going to go as the classic cinema version! You know….the Chris Hemsworth movies

 

**Torbjorn:** You just said it! You just ADMITTED you are also being Thor! 

 

**Reinhardt:** A completely different version!

 

(Symmetra, passing them as she walks in the opposite direction stops)

 

**Symmetra:** Why would you want to emulate such a mediocre actor?

 

(Both Reinhardt and Torbjorn begin shouting angrily and brandishing their hammers simultaneously)

 

**Reinhardt:** THAT, MADAME, IS OUTRAGEOUS!

 

**Torbjorn:** YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH! I SWEAR I WILL-

 

*Torbjorn lunges at her but Reinhardt intercepts him and throws him over his shoulder carrying him away still shouting and flailing his hammer*

 

(On screen text: 3 Hours later)

 

(Shot of Strike Commander Morrison talking with Colonel Ana Amari in a large ballroom)

 

**Ana:** Jack...are you sure that you’re the best person to be working with children?

 

**Morrison:** Ana I’ve disarmed a nuclear missile mid-flight...I think I can handle passing out candy and talking with children

 

**Ana:** Yes but-

 

**Morrison:** I once extracted an HVT off a moving train in Siberia without being detected! I can handle kids

 

**Ana:** I understand Jack but-

 

**Morrison:** I once saw a great white shark attack a child at a beach and take off it’s leg, I swam into the ocean after it and fought off a whole group of sharks to retreive the leg and bring it back to the child before then sewing it back on.

 

**Ana:** Umm…

 

**Morrison:** Using only a fishing rod I once boarded and hijacked a helicopter 

 

**Ana:** I don’t think that happened…

 

**Morrison:** I was once attacked while having dinner in a 5 star restaurant and using only my forks I killed several dozen attackers without even disturbing the table setting

 

**Ana:** It seems like you’re just making stuff up now…

 

**Morrison:** I am the only person to ever win both a Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter tournament in the same year-

 

**Ana:** Just please remember to to be at the mayor’s ball on time, Torbjorn and I will get there beforehand

 

**Morrison:** Roger wilco Colonel

 

**Ana:** Right then, I’m going to go get ready unless there is anything else sir?

 

*long pause as neither speaks*

 

**Ana:** *sighs* one more

 

**Morrison:** There was the time when I restarted a dead car battery by attaching the clamps to my pectoral muscles and flexing…

 

(Cut to montage of Overwatch members getting into their costumes before onscreen text reading: Halloween carnival)

 

(Tracer and Orissa enter a bustling ballroom full of happy children, booths line the walls with various members of Overwatch manning them)

 

**Tracer:** *dressed as Sporty Spice smiling nervously around while speaking out of the corner of her mouth* I’m still not quite sure you’re dressed appropriately for this

 

**Orissa:** *face smeared with makeup wearing the severely stressed nurses costume* I still do not understand your objection Lena Oxton

 

**Tracer:** I just think that-

 

*they are joined by Fareeha Amari dressed as Boba Fett with her helmet under her arm who looks somewhat startled at Orissa’s costume*

 

**Pharah:** Orissa you look….nice…

 

**Orissa:** Thank you Fareeha Amari

 

**Pharah:** Umm...what are you supposed to be though?

 

**Orissa:** I am a sexually attractive nurse

 

(both Tracer and Pharah look around nervously)

 

**Pharah:** It looks...SO nice...but are you sure it’s the best look for a children's event?

 

**Orissa:** I do not understand

 

**Pharah:** What if we…*she looks around before taking a large table cloth and returns* make you a ghost instead?

 

**Orissa:** *blinks at Pharah once and pauses* My analysis indicates that children would likely find the presence of a ghost unsettling while nurses are seen as comforting figures

 

**Tracer:** But it’s halloween love, it’s fun to be a little spooky *wiggles her fingers in emphasis*

 

*Orissa looks back in forth between Tracer still wiggling her fingers and Pharah smiling as she holds the table cloth*

 

**Orissa:** Very well, I accept your expertise in this matter

 

**Pharah:** Excellent! The children will love it! *throws the sheet over Orissa with help from Tracer*

 

**Tracer:** Can you see love?

 

**Orissa:** My sensors are functioning Lena Oxton

 

**Tracer:** Excellent! Well I’ll meet you over at the the booth in a tick!

 

(Orissa walks off toward an empty booth and both Pharah and Tracer’s shoulder sag in relief)

 

**Tracer:** Thank you!

 

**Pharah:** A sexy nurse?

 

**Tracer:** She picked it! And she was so proud of it I didn’t have the heart to explain…

 

**Pharah:** Well at least we got to her before the commander saw her

 

**Tracer:** Thank god, where is he?

 

**Pharah:** Over there *points towards where Morrison, dressed as George Washington, is speaking to a group of sitting children who look spellbound*

 

**Tracer:** He seems to really be working well with them...I must admit I’m surprised

 

**Pharah:** *rolling her eyes* yes very well, last time I was over there he was explain the proper technique and placement of a bayonet thrust

 

**Tracer:** What?!

 

**Pharah:** At least he’s doing better than Angela…*pointing over to a corner booth where Mercy is sitting looking despondent in a booth by herself*

 

**Tracer:** Oh no! Aren’t you supposed to be helping her?

 

**Pharah:** *coughing once and looking down* uh no...actually I just came to see if Angela wanted to leave a bit early and go to a party together

 

**Tracer:** *looking at her quizzically* but you’re dressed as that bloke from Star Trek-

 

**Pharah:** *looking irritated* WARS...and his name is Boba Fett

 

**Tracer:** Right but surely the kids would love it

 

**Pharah:** I...guess...I just…

 

**Tracer:** What is it love?

 

**Pharah:** I…*mumbles something the camera doesn’t pick up*

 

**Tracer:** What?

 

**Pharah:** I don’t know how to act around children, I’m always afraid I’ll do or say the wrong thing…

 

**(** Tracer stares at Pharah for several seconds before dissolving into laughter)

 

**Pharah:** *sighs* You know what Lena…

 

**Tracer:** *doubled over and leaning against Pharah as she laughs* I’m sorry...I’m sorry...it’s just *another fit of laughter*...you...YOU....the rocket woman...afraid of kids…*more strangled laughter*

 

**Pharah:** You know I told you that as a friend

 

**Tracer:** *laughing harder* I’m sorry! I’m sorry!

 

**Pharah:** I’m not afraid OF them, I’m afraid I’ll do something foolish!

 

**Tracer:** *composing herself* And they’d love it you did! They’re kids Fareeha!

 

**Pharah:** I’m just not very comfortable-

 

**Tracer:** *taking Pharah by the arm* come on then! Let’s go see if we can help your girlfriend!

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Mercy wearing her witch costume)

 

**Mercy:** I LOVE Halloween, it is my favorite holiday! So I was SO excited when I heard we would be doing this carnival but it seems the children don’t much care for my approach…

 

(Cut shots of the carnival: Winston in booth pouring one beaker into another causing a bright green burst that draws oohs from the crowd of children in front of him, Lucio leading a large group of kids in a dance, Mei handing out snow cones, D.Va playing a video game with a child, and Mercy with her head in her hand looking bored)

 

(Pharah and Tracer join Mercy at her booth)

 

**Pharah:** Hey habibata *English translation: my love* why so down?

 

**Tracer:** Yeah cheer up love! It’s halloween after all!

 

**Mercy:** *sighing* none of the children liked my booth *she gestures toward the large collection of fruits and vegetables on her counter as well as several complicated puzzles*

 

**Pharah:** Well...umm...it’s still early I’m sure they will come eventually

 

**Tracer:** *looking skeptically at the booth* Umm Doctor Zeigler I wonder if maybe you’re just not giving them what they’re looking for on halloween…

 

*Conversation is interrupted by the arrival of Jesse McCree*

 

**McCree:** Evening ladies *tips his hat* mighty fine costumes you have there

 

**Tracer:** Thank you!

 

**Mercy:** *distractedly* yes thank you jesse

 

**McCree:** Whoa there...everything alright doc?

 

**Mercy:** *pointing at Reinhardt who is covered in kids climbing all over him* Why do the children flock to Reinhardt and his booth?

 

(Tracer and Pharah make reassuring comments as McCree looks over the booth)

 

**McCree:** Well I don’t know what you two are talking about I think it’s that he’s not trying to foist fruits and veggies on them

 

(Tracer and Pharah look at him sharply as Mercy narrows her eyes)

 

**Mercy:** What do you mean?

 

**McCree:** I mean it’s halloween doc, you might as well be offering to pop their balloons for them if you’re giving out produce-

 

**Mercy:** They are a healthy and good tasting alternative...the fruit is very sweet!

 

**McCree:** Still...not...candy doc, don’t know what else to tell ya. As long as you’re offering this stuff and the big guy is offering king sized candy bars and 2 liters of soda the kids will keep going to him

 

**Mercy:** He’s what? That is completely unhealthy and terrible for these children I am going to go over there and-

 

**McCree:** *holding up his palms* bup bup bup...easy there doc....if you REALLY don’t want the kids to like you then you can do that but….

 

**Mercy:** *turning to Pharah and Tracer* you can’t agree with him

 

**Pharah:** *clears her throat and looks down*

 

**Tracer:** *looks at McCree* did you say he’s giving out KING sized candy bars?

 

**McCree:** AND large sodas…

 

*Tracers looks over at Reinhardt and then back to Mercy, repeats the process, then gives Mercy an apologetic shrug before vanishing in a burst of bluelight*

 

**Mercy:** Well that is wonderful, THANK YOU Jesse, are you here to advertise for Reinhardt?

 

**McCree:** Whoa whoa take it back a peg doc...I think I have a solution that will make you the hands down winner of this evening

 

**Mercy:** *eyes widening* I’ll do ANYTHING

 

**McCree:** Well we’ll need your girlfriends help for starters

 

*Mercy turns pleading eyes on Pharah who looks startled*

 

**Pharah:** Oh...I don’t know...I was kind of hoping we could

 

**Mercy:** PLEASEEEEEE Fareeha!

 

**Pharah:** *Sighing and nodding* fine

 

**McCree:** Excellent...now doc...do you have your wing rig with you?

 

**Mercy:** *looking confused* Yes...I always keep it with me in case of an emergency

 

**McCree:** *looking at Pharah* and you ma’am?

 

**Pharah:** Yes, the same

 

**McCree:** Excellent…*clears his throat and starts shouting over the noise* alright kids who wants to go flying?!

 

*tremendous cheer as the kids stampede toward Mercy’s booth*

 

(Cut to shot of Ana and Torbjorn getting out of a car on the steps of NYC City hall)

 

**Ana:** *dressed as a sexy pirate* Jack should be here soon, in the meantime we should head inside

 

**Torbjorn:** *dressed as Thor* I still can’t believe you’re wearing that to this ball

 

*no response from Ana and Torbjorn takes several more steps before looking back to see Ana smiling at a man dressed in a tuxedo and laughing with him*

 

**Torbjorn:** Ana!

 

**Ana:** Oh yes, I’m sorry Torbjorn, what did you say?

 

**Torbjorn:** *grumbling* Nevermind, lets just get this over with 

 

*he reaches the doors at the top of the steps before realizing that Ana is not with him and turning back to see her entering her phone number into the phone of a woman dressed as cleopatra*

 

**Torbjorn:** ANA!

 

**Ana:** Alright, alright I’m coming no need to get so upset Torbjorn

 

**Torbjorn:** *grunts as he pushes open the doors and walks through, the camera follows only to find him standing rooted to the spot*

 

**Ana:** Torbjorn?

 

**Torbjorn:** *spinning quickly to face her* Is this some kind of joke? Did Reinhardt set this up?!

 

**Ana:** What are you talking about? *looks past Torbjorn to where a group of Omnics stand chatting, all of them dressed with fake beards and holding toy hammers

 

**Torbjorn:** I didn’t even know there would be Omnics here, and why are they dressed like that?!

 

**Ana:** Oh that...they’re probably Torb-borns

 

**Torbjorn:** And just what the hell is a Torb-born?

 

**Ana:** You don’t know?

 

**Torbjorn:** ANA!

 

**Ana:** Alright alright take it easy my friend, well you were responsible for some of the technology that went into designing the first Omnics-

 

**Torbjorn:** Don’t remind me....

 

**Ana:** And so that’s made you quite the celebrity among Omnics...look now and you can see *points over to where the Omnics had noticed Torbjorn are now whispering and pointing excitedly at them*

 

**Torbjorn:** *quickly looking away* How long has this been going on?

 

**Ana:** For several years now, I can’t believe you were unaware

 

**Torbjorn:** I don’t make a habit of trying to keep up with what the tin heads are doing culturally

 

**Ana:** Well maybe you should, anyway the Torbjorn fandom members are called the ‘Torb-born’

 

**Torbjorn:** *looking stunned* this is absurd…

 

**Ana:** *laughing* just wait till you see Torb-Con

 

**Torbjorn:** *looking up quickly with a startled expression* and just what the hell is ‘Torb-Con’?

 

(End Credits Play)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just BARELY got this done on what was technically still Halloween, I hope you all enjoy it! Feedback is always much appreciated!


	6. EngagementWatch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Overwatch team begins preparing for the big wedding between Zarya and Zenyatta with some visitors!

Episode Six: EngagementWatch

 

Location: Overwatch Headquarters Ship in St. Petersburg Harbor

 

(One on one interview with Aleksanda Zaryanova)

 

**Zarya:** *Smiling happily* Soooooo I am so excited to share big news with you all...the robot Zenyatta and I are...Zhenit’sya! *Translation subtitle: getting married!* I am so excited! *Zarya lifts her left hand to a dented and scraped metal ring on her finger* Isn’t the kol’tso *Translation subtitle: ring* beautiful? The robot made this ring for me with his own hands from the first tank I ever destroyed *smiles as she wipes a tear from the corner of her eye*

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Tekhartha Zenyatta)

 

**Zenyatta:** Some of the Overwatch personnel have questioned the speed of our engagement, a fair question since we’ve only been dating for one week but I think I’ll leave it to my fiance to answer that question.

 

*Cut to black and white footage of Zarya, looking miffed, as she dusts of her hands. Behind her lays a small pile of groaning Overwatch personnel in obvious pain while Zenyatta tea bags one of them while giving a double thumbs up the camera*

 

*Opening Titles*

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Colonel Ana Amari)

 

**Ana:** Obviously everyone here is VERY excited about the upcoming wedding. Unfortunately because of what we do not everyone will be able to attend. Someone must always be on duty and ready to respond to an emergency that might crop up anywhere on earth. *Sighs heavily* And sadly as the the Overwatch XO it fell to me to be the one to deliver the bad news. Now I assure you I AGONIZED over this decision and endeavored to be as fair as I could.

 

*Cut to footage of Ana walking down a corridor aboard ship drinking a cup of coffee when a door opens beside her and Winston backs into the hallways knocking her into the bulkhead and spilling her coffee*

 

**Winston:** Oh my! I am so sorry Colonel please let me help you!

 

**Ana:** *Waving him away* Oh it’s quite alright Winston I assure you.

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Winston)

 

*Winston looking down holding a beautifully wrapped gift*

**Winston:** Am I upset that I will be the ONLY senior Overwatch member not allowed to attend the wedding? No of course not...no no...in fact...you know…it’s an honor to be chosen to be in command of the ship and all of Overwatch while the others are away…*trails off and pauses for several seconds and eventually getting out of his chair quickly with his hand over his face* excuse me!

 

(Cut back to interview with Ana)

 

**Ana:** ...and so like I was saying earlier I was completely impartial in my decision making- *cuts off as Winston can he heard running past the camera while out of view and sobbing* ...as I said VERY impartial.

 

(Cut to Torbjorn Lindholm, Reinhardt Wilhelm, Bastion, and Genji Shimada standing in a large fitting room speaking to an Omnic tailor)

 

**Torbjorn:** ...what I get for going to an Omnic tailor! What do you mean you don’t have any?! *shakes his fist angrily as he looks up at the Omnic*

 

**Omnic Tailor:** *Looking down at Torbjorn with raised hands* I sincerely apologize sir but we simply do not stock suits in your size

 

**Reinhardt:** *Emerges from fitting room wearing a brilliantly orange tuxedo with ruffles* I don’t know why you’re so upset my diminutive friend! The good Omnic has been most obliging to us! And this suit is simply magnificent!

 

**Omnic Tailor:** Thank you sir

 

**Bastion:** *Series of happy and then inquisitive beeps*

 

**Omnic Tailor:** Ah yes sir I will return with your samples in a few moments *floats out of the room!*

 

**Torbjorn:** Hey! What about me you floating bucket of bolts?!

 

(Cut to one on one interview with the Omnic Tailor)

 

**Omnic Tailor:** so racist…

 

(Cut back to fitting room as the Omnic Tailor returns holding several ties in his hands before approaching Bastion)

 

**Omnic Tailor:** These are some of our best options for a gentleman such as yourself. Would you prefer a classic tie? A bow tie? Or perhaps a bolo?

 

*Bastion reaches out and selects a bolo tie before placing it on his chest with a magnetic ‘thunk’ and beeping happily just as Dr. Angela Ziegler calls from outside the fitting room curtain*

 

**Mercy:** *from outside the fitting room*  Can I come in gentleman?

 

**Genji:** It is quite humiliating that we need to be inspected like this doctor Ziegler

 

**Mercy:** *Still from outside the room* I’m not making the decisions Genji I’m just trying to be helpful to Zarya and Zenyatta, we ALL need to!

 

**Genji:** And you have literally seen all of naked before, why are you asking if you can come in?

 

*Mercy pushes the curtain aside and steps in*

 

**Mercy:** Well it’s still polite to ask *stops when she sees Bastion and Reinhardt* no absolutely not!

 

**Bastion: *** Sad and disappointed beep that trails off slowly*

 

**Reinhardt:** *Nods solemnly* You are right of course doctor…*brightens* it DOES need the top hat! I will be right back! *charges out of the fitting room yelling for a top hat*

 

**Mercy:** *Calling after him* Reinhardt you simply cannot wear a bright orange tuxedo to a wedding! 

 

**Bastion:** *Inquisitive beep* 

 

**Genji:** *Pulling his bow tie tight* There is no logic behind it Bastion, but for the sake of harmony we must submit

 

**Mercy:** *Looking disapproving* Well at least you look presentable Genji

 

**Genji:** Arigatōgozaimashita *Subtitle Translation: Thank you*

 

**Bastion:** *Questioning beeps*

 

**Mercy:** No you cannot wear that kind of tie to a wedding

 

**Bastion** *Looking at Genji and beeping twice*

 

**Genji:** Yes, the same thing

 

**Bastion:** *Sad disappointed beep as he removes the bolo tie and attaches the bow tie to his chest*

 

**Omnic Tailor:** An excellent choice sir

 

**Torbjorn:** Hey! I still need a suit!

 

***** Reinhardt bursts into the room no wearing a matching top hat and carrying a cane*

 

**Reinhardt:** As the children proclaim...pound sign this!

 

*Genji as buries his face in his hands*

 

**Mercy:** Reinhardt the problem with your suit was not that it didn’t have the right accessories! 

 

**Reinhardt:** Do you not like it Angela?

 

**Mercy:** I-...it’s just not appropriate for a wedding. Wedding attire needs to be timeless and elegant and show a certain level of decorum and class.

 

**Genji:** But this is Master Zenyatta and Zarya’s wedding…

 

**Mercy:** *Blinks several times and opens her mouth before shutting it again* ...still no bright orange suits. Besides you’re all being dramatic, compared to a dress fitting this is simplicity itself

 

**Torbjorn:** *Looking and sounding annoyed* Hey!

 

**Mercy, Reinhardt, and Genji:** Ask for a childrens size!

 

**Torbjorn:** *Grumbling* I’ll show you a childrens size!

 

(Cut to footage of a different fitting room camera through which can be heard the voices of Lena Oxton, Fareeha Amari, and Orissa)

 

**Pharah:** Well this is...umm...unique

 

**Tracer:** I just...I...I can’t

 

**Pharah:** I didn’t realize that they could make these into dresses

 

**Orissa:** According to my extensive research these colors do not coordinate

 

(Cut to shot of Zenyatta and Lucio have a conversation in Lucio’s room before cutting to a one on one interview with Lucio)

 

**Lucio:** I was an am still so flattered that my friends decided to ask me to DJ their wedding reception for them. And I was planning to make this show a big deal with some fresh new tunes, lasers, and everything. *Pauses for a moment* but then I got Zenyatta’s ideas on how the show should go and this uh...suggestions list *holds up a sheet of paper before reading off it* the sound should combine the sweeping elegance of Handel with the fly beats of skrillex and the lyrical storytelling of Johnny Cash….*looks back at the camera* I mean what the hell? And then he decided he’d demonstrate what he meant…

 

*Cut to shot of Lucio with a wide eyed cringing grin standing behind Zenyatta at a pair of turntables as he record scratches over a Tchaikovsky concerto*

 

(Cut back to one on one interview with Lucio)

 

**Lucio:** And this list of PRE-requests that Dr. Ziegler submitted to me *holds up another sheet of paper* I mean...I’m pretty sure if I played these in public I’d be arrested…*talking softly*...there will be CHILDREN at this thing

 

(Cut to shot of Zenyatta standing with Strike Commander Jack Morrison and Colonel Ana Amari standing on the flight deck of the Overwatch HQ ship)

 

*Ana speaking the camera over the wind*

 

**Ana:** We are waiting for the arrival of a contingent of the Shambali, Zenyatta’s monastery in the Himalayas. Given the current political climate in Russia it took a lot of string pulling from the Strike Commander to allow them to visit but it was important to Zenyatta that they be able to attend.

 

*A shuttle comes into sigh high above before descending slowly toward the flight desk*

 

**Morrison:** Alright look sharp people!

 

*Shuttle lands slowly before it’s rear door slowly descendants revealing a group of shambali monks who slowly hover down to stand directly in front of Strike Commander Morrison, a monk wearing a red belt and pants comes forward*

 

**Red:** Strike Commander, my brothers and I greet you most warmly. You may call me Red when it becomes necessary to distinguish me from my brothers.

 

**Morrison:** It’s a pleasure to receive you and your delegation. Overwatch is honored that you could join us for this special occasion.

 

*Red bows slowly and turns to Ana*

 

**Red:** Colonel Amari I presume? It is a please to meet you, Tekhartha Zenyatta speaks very highly of you *bows again*

 

**Ana:** *Returning the bow*  The pleasure is all mine sir, I was very pleased to learn you would be here to celebrate your brother’s special day.

 

**Red:** Thank you for your kind words Colonel *he turns toward where Zenyatta is hovering and makes his way over to him where he stops directly in front of him* Brother… *inclines his head*

 

**Zenyatta:** Brother *nods in return*

 

*Neither Omnic speaks as the other monks gather around them, no one speaks for several moments before both Red and Zenyatta begin to giggle*

 

**Red:** WHAT UP FAM?! *clasps Zenyatta’s hand as they bro hug*

 

**Zenyatta:** You know just chillin bruh! *chest bumps Red before proceeding to do so with all the other monks as Morrison and Ana look on in shock*

 

**Red:** Before we go get riggidy WRECKED you know we gotta do one thing!

 

**Zenyatta:** *Nods* True true we gotta do it 

 

*All the other monks nod as all the omnics produce brown paper bags holding bottles*

 

**Red:** Gotta pour one out for the big homie! *Kisses his hand and taps his chest twice, producing a clunking noise, before pointing up at the sky*

 

**Zenyatta:** *Matches his gesture* Yeah gotta pour one out Monny-D! Gone but not forgotten! 

 

**Red, Zenyatta, and the other Omnics:** Yay YAY! *all then pour some oil out on the deck of the ship before taking long drinks from their bottles*

 

(Cut to an interview with both Morrison and Ana)

 

**Ana:** All this time I’d just been assuming that Zenyatta was just an exception to the norm for the Shambali…

 

**Morrison:** I didn’t understand a word they said after he said hello to you…

 

(Cut to shot of Hana Song aka D.Va and Dr. Mei Zhou standing in an Overwatch hanger, D.Va lays between the legs of her mech as Mei stands off to one side)

 

**Mei:** Hana are you certain that this is a good idea

 

**D.Va:** *Speaking as she uses a paint gun to spray the leg of her mech* Of course, I’ll be a representative of my country at the wedding and I want the MEKA Corps to put it’s best foot forward...can you hand me that hydrospanner?

 

**Mei:** *Bends down to hand D.Va the tool* Yes but will your mech even fit into the church?

 

**D.Va:** *Laughs as she begins to use the tool* Of course I checked Mei! And Besides, what girl doesn’t want to stand out with her outfit! I guarantee I’ll be the only one wearing this look to the wedding!

 

**Mei:** *Bites her lip looking anxious* But Hana...aren’t there other MEKA Corps people coming?

 

**D.Va:** Yes but that’s why I’m making this modifications Mei, no one will have a mech like mine!

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Mercy)

 

**Mercy:** I was very honored when Zarya and Zenyatta asked me to be their wedding planner. Fareeha thinks they just wanted to dump off all the work on me but that's ridiculous, we’re friends! I’ve just had to pitch in on invitations…

 

*Cut to Footage of Mercy furiously addressing envelopes and stuffing them*

 

**Mercy:** ...and of course I had to check on the catering…

 

(Cut to Shot of Mercy talking to an irate looking Symmetra in the Overwatch kitchen) 

 

**Mercy:** ...I’m sorry Satya but we just can’t do that!

 

**Symmetra:** The instructions are very clear doctor

 

**Mercy:** *Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath* I understand that but we simply won’t be able to use that recipe for the human catering for the wedding. You’ll just need to improvise and try to create the spirit of what he wants without following the directions.

 

**Symmetra:** *One eye twitching violently as she speaks very softly* IMPROVISE….and….ignore...directions?

 

**Mercy:** *Losing her patience* Satya! The levels of pepper in these dishes would destroy a human digestive system!

 

**Symmetra:** *Eye still twitching and now shivering* Ignore….directions...

 

(Cut to shot of Symmetra being violently sick into a trash can as Mercy pats her back before cutting back to one on one with Mercy)

 

**Mercy:** She was fine after I prescribed an antacid. Oh and then there was the decorating…

 

*Cut to footage of Mercy flying around the upper rafters of a cathedral with a tape measure and notepad*

 

**Mercy:** ...booking hotel rooms for guests…

 

*Cut to footage of a tired looking Mercy sitting at a laptop with a notepad on the desk next to her*

 

**Mercy:** ...arranging things with the priest…

 

***** Cut to footage of a exhausted looking Mercy frantically flipping through a German to Russian dictionary as a bearded Russian priest speaks rapidly to her from across a desk*

 

**Mercy:** ...and of course the flowers…

 

*Cut to footage of Mercy sleeping with her head in a bouquet of flowers and drool coming out of her mouth*

 

**Mercy:** ...so nothing major at all, I’m happy to do it for them! *laughs in a slightly manic way*

 

(Cuts one on one interview with Pharah)

 

**Pharah:** *Looks directly into the camera* Sucker…

 

(Cut to Interview with Zenyatta and Zarya)

 

*Zenyatta and Zarya high five and give the camera a thumbs up*

 

(Cut to shot of Tracer, Orissa, and Pharah standing on a street corner, Tracer and Pharah are shivering in dresses while Orissa is wearing a dress the covers only her torso)

 

**Tracer:** I hope Zarya gets here soon with the limo...I’m freezing

 

**Pharah:** *Looks at her phone* She should be here any minute, Orissa did you remember the tiara and sash?

 

**Orissa:** *Turns to look at Pharah* I am incapable of forgetting an assigned task Fareeha Amari

 

**Pharah:** Good! What’s a bachelorette party without a tiara and sash?

 

**Tracer:** Speaking of, do either of you know yet what Zarya has planned? 

 

*Both Pharah and Orissa shake their heads*

 

**Tracer:** Well whatever it is all the matters is that Zarya has fun

 

**Pharah and Orissa:** Yes!

 

*A moment later a hover limo drives up and Zarya pops out of the top*

 

**Zarya:** *Arms spread wide* My friends! Thank you for coming! Are you prepared for our celebration?!

 

**Tracer:** *Exchanges a look with Pharah before answering* Uh yes! I’m excited, usually the maid of honor plans these parties so that’s something off my plate.

 

**Pharah:** *Frowns* Oh...did we decide that Lena was the maid of honor then?

 

**Tracer:** Oh I just meant that...well...because Zarya asked me first…

 

*Pharah purses her lips and nods quickly as Tracer looks down at the ground and Orissa looks between them curiously*

 

**Zarya:** Ladies there is no need for this fighting, we will determine the maid of honor tonight! *Orissa, Tracer, and Pharah look at her quizzically* Yes! For tonight we engage in MEDVED! 

 

*Pharah and Tracer to Orissa*

 

**Orissa:** *Blinks once as she looks back before saying* Bear Combat

 

*Tracer and Pharah look startled as Zaraya shouts in triumph*

 

**Zarya:** DA! *Translation Subtitle: ‘Yes’* I have dreamed of this since I was a little girl!

 

**Tracer:** *Obviously trying not to panic* Uh...Zarya, love...by bear combat you mean…

 

**Zarya:** We fight them! Paw to fist! Best workout there is! *She disappears momentarily before exiting the limo and hurrying the others into it* Come Come ladies! We will be late!

 

**Pharah:** Uh...Zaraya I’m not sure I…

 

*Zarya sees the tiara and sash in Orissa’s hand and beams*

 

**Zarya:** Oh my friends! Thank you so much! *she puts them on* these are so cute! I look forward to seeing any bear try to take them from me!

 

*Limo pulls away from the camera as Tracer presses a hand and her face to the rear window looking depressed as she passes out of sight*

 

(Cut to interview with Winston and McCree)

 

**Winston:** While I was certainly...disappointed...at not being able to attend the wedding I am excited to be invited to the bachelor party!

 

**McCree:** Damn right! No one does a party like Jesse McCree and my main man Winston!

 

**Winston:** *Nods eagerly* And there is NO WAY I’m going to do anything to mess this one up!

 

**(** Cut to shot of Strike Commander Morrison walking down a corridor whistling as he unwraps a hard candy, as he turns a corner Winston suddenly drops from an overhead hatch where he was working holding several tools)

 

*Morrison runs into Winston’s back and the candy falls from his hand*

 

**Winston:** *See’s the candy falling and begins to speak and move in slow motion* Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

(Cut back to interview with McCree and Winston)

 

*Winston sobbing into his hands as McCree places a hand on his back*

 

(Cut to montage of footage played over “Hearts On Fire”)

 

*First scene: Zenyatta and McCree face each other across a table, a line of shots in front of each of them. Reinhardt shouts go and as McCree finishes his first shot Zenyatta, moving at superhuman speeds, finishes all five of his and everyone cheers*

 

*Second scene: Tracer is sprinting toward the camera with a look of panic on her face as a large bear lumbers into the frame behind her. Pharah shouts “run!” from off camera as Tracer blinks out just before a giant paw hits her*

 

*Third Scene: Zenyatta and Torbjorn sit drunkenly at a table looking up at a dancing Omnic stripper*

 

**Zenyatta:** By the…*hiccups*...Iris...look at the chassis on her!

 

**Torbjorn:** *Takes a long drink for a labeless bottle before swaying dangerously and then putting an arm around Zenyatta’s shoulders* dose rivets doh!

 

*Fourth Scene: Orissa looks from side to side in confusion as a pair of bears swipe at her leaving long scratches down her sides*

 

*Fifth Scene: Genji and Zenyatta lead a conga line composed of the other monks, Reinhardt, McCree, Bastion, and the Omnic strippers. Zenyatta is wearing McCree’s hat and Genji is wearing a lampshade*

 

*Sixth Scene: The camera films Pharah from the otherside of a cage as she shakes the bars frantically as she looks over her shoulder repeatedly. Just as bear gets close she dives to one side.

 

**Pharah:** WHY DIDN’T I WEAR MY RAPTOR SUIT?!

 

*Seventh Scene: the members of Zenyatta’s bachelor party sitting quietly in leather backed chairs smoking pipes and looking contemplative as Bastion’s pipe emits a stream of bubbles*

 

*Eighth Scene: Miserable looking Tracer and Pharah leaning against each other with their eyes closed. Both are covered in bruises and cuts.

 

*Ninth Scene: Bastion standing on a stage with a microphone in his hand beeping rhythmically along with “Don’t Stop Believing”*

 

*Tenth Scene: Zarya standing atop a small rock outcropping laughing heartily as she holds one bear in a head lock and is surrounded by several other unconscious bears* 

 

*Eleventh Scene: Zenyatta’s feet sticking out from under an enormous pile of empty cans*

 

(Cut to shot of Ana Amari emerging from her quarters, her arms around the waist of one of the Shambali monks)

 

**Ana:** Maybe I’ll see you again after the wedding?

 

**Monk:** Damnnnnn girl….you’re gonna overload my circuits!

 

**Ana:** *Smacks his buttocks once* Only if you’re lucky tiger. *The monk floats aways as Ana turns the camera* now let’s see if any of the men survived shall we?

 

*She sets off and the camera follows her down a series of corridors and stairwells before she tops outside the Overwatch lounge. She proceeds to open the doors and step through*

 

**Ana:** Well well.... *looks around at the total wreck of the lounge with passed out bodies sprawled randomly throughout the room with the exception of Reinhardt who is sitting at the bar humming happily to myself stirring a cup of tea*...Reinhardt? Didn’t you celebrate as thoroughly as your friends?

 

**Reinhardt:** Oh of course I did Colonel but I’m German! Hangovers have no power over me!

 

*Several humans and omnics groan loudly at Reinhardt’s booming voice*

 

**Ana:** *Surveys the room once more and then asks* Even you Bastion?

 

**Bastion:** *Soft and low beeping with a distinctly sad tone*

 

**Ana:** *Sighs loudly* I SHOULD let you all suffer but we do have a lot to do today so…*hefts a biotic grenade in one hand and her rifle in another* let's get to work!

 

(Cut to scene of Mercy walking toward her office through the corridors of the ship)

 

**Mercy:** *Singing softly her herself* With so much drama in the LBC, it’s kinda hard being Snoop D-O-Double- G, but I, somehow someway, keep coming up with funky a- *cuts off as a crewmen emerges from a side door* Good morning Ethan! *the crewman nods and walks past, Mercy looks over her shoulder as he leaves and when he turns a corner continues* ...funky as shit like very single day!

 

*Reaches her office and swipes her key card and walks into her office still singing until she looks up*

 

**Mercy:** MEIN GOTT! *Translation Subtitle: ‘My God’* *looks on in horror as she sees Tracer and Pharah lying stretched out on two of the medical beds with Orissa standing nearby looking equally as battered* What happened to you?!

 

**Tracer, Pharah, and Orissa:** BEARS!

 

**Mercy:** *Looks from one to another for for several moments before her shoulders slump* I’ll go get my staff.

 

*End Credits*

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay on this one friends, life happens right? As usual I'll repeat my call for someone to PLEASE write a Talon based companion series to this one, how cool would that be? Super grateful to anyone whose gutted it out long enough to read through this chapter! Thank you! Feedback is always gratefully welcomed and check back for the next chapter when we introduce Brigette!


	7. WeddingWatch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big day is here! Zarya and Zenyatta are tying the knot, Brigitte arrives, but what secret is McCree hiding?

****

Episode Seven: WeddingWatch

 

Location:  Overwatch Headquarters Ship  _ Rebirth _ in St. Petersburg Harbor

 

(Open on one on one interview with Chief Engineer Torbjorn Lindholm)

 

**Torbjorn:** I can’t believe it but my little girl has grown up! *wipes a tear from his eye* my little Brigitte officially joins Overwatch today…*wipes another tear* I still remember the first thing she ever made for me *holds up a tiny version of his turret before breaking down into tears*

 

(Cut to shot of Overwatch shuttle on the deck of the  _ Rebirth _ where Brigitte Lindholm stands talking to Colonel Ana Amari as Reinhardt and Torbjorn approach, Camera moves forward and catches the end of the conversation)

 

**Ana:** ...report to your father on Monday in the engineering bay for your first duty shift *Ana looks up from her tablet and smiles at Brigitte* and just let me add that I am so proud of you Brigitte, and of the woman you’ve become! 

 

**Brigitte:** Ana you’re embarrassing me! *Brigitte and Ana hug as her father and Reinhardt arrive*

 

**Torbjorn:** Are you ready to move in  min lilla snösmut! *translation subtitle: my little lug nut*

 

**Brigitte:** *blushing furiously* Pappa! Snälla ring mig inte det! *translation subtitle: Papa! Please don’t call me that!*

 

**Torbjorn:** *beaming at her* I’ll never stop calling you min lilla snösmut! *translation subtitle: my little lug nut* because you always will be!

 

**Ana:** Humor him dear, he’s been so excited for this day that he’s been a nervous wreck for weeks.

 

**Torbjorn:** *Glaring up at Ana* I have NOT been a nervous wreck…I- *breaks off as Reinhardt makes a loud choking sound*

 

**Brigitte:** Reinhardt are you- *lets out a startled squeak as Reinhardt seizes in her in a bearhug and lifts her off her feet*

 

**Reinhardt:** *Howling with body wracking sobs as he hoists Brigitte into the air* I’m...I’m...I’m just so proud!

 

**Brigitte:** *Eyes wide as she looks down frantically and flails her feet* Reinhardt it’s alright! I’m going to be- *cuts off as Reinhardt squeezes still tighter and the air is forced out of her*

 

**Ana:** *Eyes wide* Reinhardt! Put her down you’re going to squish her!  *Reinhardt doesn’t hear her over his sobs and continues to swing Brigitte from side to side* Reinhardt! *Ana looks at Torbjorn* we need to help her!

 

*Both Ana and Torbjorn leap up and cling to one of Reinhardt’s arms before being swung through the air as Reinhardt continues to twist from side to side while sobbing. Camera pulls back to and spins so the foursome are silhouetted against the sunlight entering the hanger*

 

**Ana’s voice:** EVERYONE IN THE HANGER! HELP!

 

**Torbjorn’s voice:** LET GO YOU BIG OAF! *his silhouette takes out his hammer and begins hitting Reinhardt’s arms*

 

*More and more hanger crew members run toward Reinhardt as he continues to swing Brigitte, Ana, and Torbjorn from side to side and howl with sobs*

 

(Opening Credits Play)

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Reinhardt)

 

**Reinhardt:** *Looking sheepishly down* Admittedly...I may have lost control 

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Brigitte)

 

**Brigitte:** *Grimacing as she looks down at her bandage wrapped torso* I guess I’d just assumed my first injury with Overwatch would be a result of work or battle not a hug

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Torbjorn)

 

**Torbjorn:** *Looking sourly at the camera* ….Idiot

 

(Cut to feed of Brigitte filming herself with a small camera)

 

**Brigitte:** *beaming* sooooo it’s moving in day! *squeals in excitement* and I wanted to catch every minute of it!

 

*Camera turns and bobs up and down as it moves down the hallway toward a door, Brigitte’s hand appears in the frame and presses a palm against the door scanner which turns Green and pings as the door opens, Brigitte’s face comes back in the frame*

 

**Brigitte:** OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! I HAVE MY OWN ROOM! I CAN’T WAIT TO START MOVING IN! *her face falls slightly* I just need to wait for my stuff to get here I guess, I wonder where…*cuts off as a faint heavy thumping sound approaches from outside in the corridor, Brigitte’s face brightens again* oh! Here he is!

 

*Bastion appears in the doorway with three large duffel bags hanging off his arm*

 

**Brigitte:** Thank you Bastion! You can set them down in here *Bastion steps into the room and places the bags on the bed before turning to face Brigitte*

 

**Bastion:** Fwoop mweeeeeep zurp blurt

 

**Brigitte:** You’re the best *thumps Bastion on his chest plate*

 

**Bastion:** Boop Boop Boooooooooop Beep Zweep Murp *holds out his hand palm up*

 

**Brigitte: *** Looking taken aback* Oh...really?

 

**Bastion:** *Nods* Beep Vrrp

 

**Brigitte:** Oh....uh...let me see….*digs in her pocket for a moment before withdrawing a few coins and a crumpled bill from her pocket and grinning abashedly* sorry….it’s all I have on me 

 

**Bastion:** *Looks down at the money for several seconds before looking at Brigitte for several more seconds, Brigitte blushes and looks away, Bastion stares for several moments longer and then turns to walk out of the room*

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Brigitte)

 

**Brigitte:** *Looking helpless* I honestly had no idea he was expecting payment...I mean...what does he do with the money? Does he have….stuff?

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Bastion)

 

**Bastion:** *Looking straight at the camera for several seconds before looking down at the money in his hand and then back up at the camera* Blarrrrp *translation subtitle: rude*

 

(On screen text: The next morning)

 

(Camera following Pharah as she approaches a door at the end of a hallway)

 

**Pharah:** *Speaking to the camera over her shoulder* I’m glad you’re here actually, I’m going to have to stage a little bit of a intervention.

 

*She approaches the door and knocks twice, when there is no response she pushes it open and beckons for the camera to follow her into the room. The conference room’s walls are covered in papers showing various wedding accessories and topics. The floor is similarly strewn and the table is has several laptops open to various wedding sights. Standing at a holoboard at one end of the room is Mercy. She feverishly pouring over the writing that covers the holoboard as she clings to a coffee cup with both hands. Her entire body is quivering so much that tiny drops of coffee slosh up over the lip of her mug as she mutters to herself. The camera pans around the room to show two empty coffee dispensers on their side and countless styrofoam cups littered around them*

 

**Pharah:** *Speaking gingerly* Uh...Angela? I’m heading over to the church now

 

**Mercy:** *Jump visibly at the sound of Pharah’s voice sloshing even more coffee to the ground* gottverdammt! *translation subtitle: God damn it* Fareeha! You scared me…*looks around quickly as she brings the quivering cup to her lips* what did you say?

 

**Pharah:** I said I’m going to the church now...for the wedding? Zarya and Zenyatta’s wedding?

 

**Mercy:** Wedding? The WEDDING! *looks down and to the side and mutters* they said I couldn’t plan a wedding in such a short time...they were wrong...they were alllllll wrong

 

**Pharah:** Umm, Angela, have you slept at all recently?

 

**Mercy:** *Yelping* I DO NOT- *clears her throat before speaking more normally* I am a doctor Fareeha, I know how much sleep I need to function *looks down again and mutters* I don’t need sleep...I need more coffee...that’s all I need, yes yes….more coffee

 

**Pharah:** Yeah...maybe we should lay off the Coffee a little bit don’t you think *she begins to reach gingerly toward the still standing coffee dispenser

 

**Mercy:** *Growls like an angry dog*

 

**Pharah:** *Withdraws her hand quickly* Okay Okay well I put your dress on the bed when you want to change I’m going to- *cuts off at a choking sob and looks over quickly*

 

**Mercy:** *sobbing uncontrollably with her face in her hands* I’m...just...soooooooo...tired

 

**Pharah:** *Crosses over to Mercy and takes her into her arms before lifting her off the ground* OK Angela...lets just take you out of here now *walks past the camera and out in the hallway with the still crying Mercy*

 

(Cut to shot of Mei, D.Va, and Brigitte standing in a parking lot outside of a church)

 

**Mei:** You look so nice Brigitte!

 

**Brigitte:** Thank you! So do you Mei! And Hannah...ah...your mech looks very….festive?

 

**D.Vah:** *Lifts her mech’s arms and turns the body from side to side* thank you! I worked very hard on it!

 

**Mei:** *Not looking at D.Va’s mech* So do you want to walk in with us Brigitte?

 

**Brigitte:** *Looking around* I actually am waiting for that valet, she said she’d be right back for my rental as soon as she finished parking Commander Morrison’s…

 

**Mei:** *Looking concerned* she better hurry, the wedding starts soon…

 

**Brigitte:** Yeah I really need her to come soon...do you think I should-

 

*All three women jump at the sound of a loud banging noise from the direction of the church*

 

**Brigitte:** vad var det?! *translation subtitle: what was that?!*

 

**D.Va** : *Turning quickly to face the church* I’m scanning! *long pause before the body of her mech sags as she covers her eyes with her hand in the cockpit*

 

**Mei:** What is it Hannah?

 

**D.Va:** *In a tired and defeated voice* just...wait for it

 

**Mei:** Wait for what?

 

**Brigitte:** Did I say something wrong?

 

**D.Va:** *Sighing* No...no...just...wait

 

*All three women fall silent as D.Va looks resigned while Mei and Brigitte look confused, several moments later the sound Zenyatta moving as fast as he can comes faintly toward them, a few seconds later he comes into view hurrying toward the women*

 

**D.Va:** Here we go…

 

**Mei:** Oh…I see….

 

**Brigitte:** What?

 

*Zenyatta comes to a stop in front of Brigitte and takes a moment to compose hims and fix his suit before speaking*

 

**Zenyatta:** *Sounding excited* say that again please!

 

**Brigitte:** *Looking confusedly at both Mei and D.Va but both other women are shaking their heads* Ummm pardon?

  
  


**Zenyatta:** *Speaking eagerly* say the thing!

 

**Brigitte:** What thing?

 

**Zenyatta:** The thing you just said!

 

**Brigitte:** Umm...I said I needed the valet to hurry

 

**Zenyatta:** *Gestures impatiently* Yes but you said it differently

 

**Brigitte:** Uh...I guess I said I needed her to come soon…*jumps in fright as Zenyatta shouts suddenly*

 

**Zenyatta:** BOOM! Name of your sex tape! *points double finger guns at Brigitte* huh? Huhhhhhhhh?

 

*All three women stare at him blankly as Zenyatta holds his pose*

 

(Cut to shot of Zenyatta’s groomsmen: Reinhardt, Torbjorn, Bastion, Genji, and Red milling around just inside the church)

 

**Genji:** *Looking around* Where did master Zenyatta go to?

 

**Bastion:** Boop Bwoooooooop Murp 

 

**Genji:** Very true, but he appeared to be in a great hurry

 

**Red:** *Vaping in the corner while wearing a red robes* Probably to do something epic....he’s always doing those

 

*A door opens nearby and Tracer sticks her head out* 

 

**Tracer:** Hey guys, is uh...is Zenyatta ready yet?

 

**Torbjorn:** He just ran out of here like an idiot 

 

**Tracer:** What? Where did he go?

 

**Bastion:** Nwwwrp Blurt Borp

 

**Tracer:** *Looks around at the group* Umm...translation please 

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Bastion)

 

**Bastion:** *Rapid series of beeping accompanied by a translation subtitle: Lena has worked with me for months and hasn’t bothered to learn my language....racist*

 

(Cut back to interior of the church where Zenyatta is just opening the front door laughing softly to himself, a large icicle protruding from his flank)

 

**Zenyatta:** *Laughing to himself* worth it!

 

**Tracer:** *looking appalled* Oh my god! What happened to?! What have you been doing?

 

**Zenyatta:** *Brushing dust off his shoulder before slowly tugging the icicle out of his body and settling his coat so it covers the hole* Being awesome Lena...being...awesome

 

**Reinhardt:** Lena! Shouldn’t you ladies be out here with us? We need to process in soon!

 

**Tracer:** *looks back into the room quickly before turning back to Reinhardt* Ah...yeah...we’ll just stay in here for a bit love...with the bride...that's it *closes the door quickly*

 

**Red:** I will take my place now Z *stows his vape* yo this wedding is going to be litttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt *voices trails out as he opens the door to the nave*

 

**Reinhardt:** *Slapping Zenyatta on the back with a loud clanging noise* lit indeed my friend!

 

**Genji:** Master I think- *cuts off as the doors to the church are shoved open and Brigitte, Mei, and D.Va walk through muttering darkly and shooting glares at Zenyatta before entering the nave* ...that it’s time.

 

**Zenyatta:** Right you are my student! *takes out a breath spray and spritzes his face plate before holding his arms out and looking at the groomsmen* my friends...one last thing I want to do as a single omnic *farts electronically before laughing loudly to himself*

 

**Genji:** *Clears his throat awkwardly* Well...on that note...where is doctor Zeigler? She was supposed to organize this

 

**Pharah:** *Shouting through the side door* she’s occupied at the moment!

 

**Torbjorn:** We should have done a rehearsal!

 

**Zenyatta:** *Holds up a hand to speak* friends...as a wise man once said...don’t even trip *floats over to the side door and knocks on it* time to go ladies

 

*Long pause before the doors opens and Tracer, Pharah, Orissa, and Katya Volskaya file. All but Katya are dressed in red dresses cut to look like a weight lifter’s singlet. Camera swings around to catch a conversation between Pharah and Tracer*

 

**Tracer:** *Whispering through her teeth* I’m going to do it

 

**Pharah:** *Hissing* Lena! No! 

 

**Tracer:** *Still whispering* Lena YES! I can’t face the walk down that aisle, I’m going to do it!

 

**Pharah:** *Still hissing* Lena Oxton! Don’t you dare blink down the aisle during the procession!

 

**Tracer:** *Whisper* I’m doing it!

 

**Pharah:** *Hissing* NO!

 

**Zenyatta:** *Speaking from across the room* Let’s do thisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss *Air horn sounds and trance remix of the wedding march begins playing* Get in there!

 

(Scene changes to view inside the nave facing the back, smoke pours through the door as the wedding march remix blasts)

 

*Montage of short scenes begins*

 

(Scene #1: Reinhardt bursts through the smoke in a bright orange tux with matching top hat, imitates Hulk Hogan’s entrance as he walks down the aisle)

 

(Scene #2: Orissa and Bastion walk down the aisle each with an arm under one of Torbjorn’s whose legs kick in the air as they carry him)

 

(Scene #3: Flash of light as Tracer appears behind Orissa and Pharah as they stand at the front of the church)

 

(Scene #4: Camera pans over the beaming guests and focuses briefly on Mercy who is fast asleep, her mouth open, drool running out of one corner)

 

(Scene #5: red smoke begins to billow in the doorway and as the music’s tempo increases)

 

**Zenyatta (Off camera):** Ladiesssssssss, Gentlemennnnnnnnn, and Omnicsssssssssss presenting the world's strongest woman, the siberian stunner, and my beautiful bride! I give youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu ALEKSANDRA ZARAYANOVA! 

 

*Zarya steps through the smoke being escorted by Katya in another weightlifter dress in white, air horn sounds again and a laser show begins*

 

(Cut to interview with Pharah and Mercy, Pharah is smiling at the camera and Mercy is snoring loudly in her chair)

 

**Pharah:** I have to say...my girl really put together one hell of a show! *looks over at the sleeping Mercy who snorts loudly before continuing to snore*

 

(Cut to shot of Zenyatta and Zarya at the altar with Red officiating)

 

**Zenyatta:** I, Tekhartha ‘the big Z’ Zenyatta take you Zarya to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life.

 

**Zarya:** I, Aleksandra Zaryanova, take you Zenyatta to be my husband. I promise too *rest of the statement is blotted out by a long string of censor bleeps*

 

*Camera switches to show an obviously uncomfortable audience looking on as the censor bleeps continue for almost a whole minute accompanied by several graphic hand gestures*

 

**Zenyatta:** *Pausing after Zarya finishes speaking* By my motherboard...WHAT A WOMAN! *jumps into Zarya’s arms*

 

**Red:** *Pumping his fist* Then I declare you MARRIED...A...F!

 

*Pyro effects go off in a dozen different colors as confetti falls and Zarya carries Zenyatta back up the aisle as a dance version of “ Slav’sya, Otechestvo nashe svobodnoye” begins playing*

 

(Cut to shot of Tracer on her phone standing outside the reception ballroom)

 

**Tracer:** ….-Winston, love, yes I promise I will tell you all about the ceremony as soon as I see you tomorrow...yes...yes...well it was ummm an interesting experience...well I don’t have the time right now but....yes...Winston...please stop crying, look I PROMISE I’ll tell you all about it...OK...OK Emily just arrived I have to go

 

*Faint sound of hysterical weeping from the phone before Tracer hangs up and turns to kiss Emily as she arrives*

 

**Tracer:** You look so pretty!

 

**Emily:** And you make that dress WORK! 

 

**Tracer:** *Blushing and pulling her skirt straight* Yeahhhhhhh….

 

*Brigitte steps into the frame smiling*

 

**Brigitte:** You two look so adorable!

 

**Emily:** Thank you Brigitte, so do you! So where’s your date?

 

*Camera pans out to reveal Torbjorn and Reinhardt perking up and suddenly listening intently from a nearby table*

 

**Brigitte:** Oh he’s just getting us drinks, I can’t wait for us to hang out as couples!

 

*voices fade as Camera pans over her shoulder toward the bar where Jesse McCree is leaning forward and ordering a drink. Camera turns to show Reinhardt and Torbjorn holding a whispering conversation while pointing at him*

 

(Cut to interview with Reinhardt and Torbjorn)

 

**Both:** He...must...pay!

 

(Cut to shot of the bar where McCree is speaking the bartender)

 

**McCree (Speaking unusually loudly):** Yes I need like FIVE whiskeys...straight...with a sprinkle of cigar ash! *whispers insistently* an Appletini please but pour it in a tumbler *loud voice again* yep that’s the drink for me! Neat whiskey!

 

**Omnic Bartender:** I...understand sir

 

*Reinhardt and Torbjorn approach and stand on either side of McCree*

 

**Reinhardt:** Jesse my friend! I wonder if you could assist Torbjorn and I, we need to carry in some gifts!

 

**McCree:** *Jumping in surprise* Oh! Uh hey fellas! Yeah I’d be happy to I’m not up to anything major I reckon...just a dude sitting here ordering a whiskey *picks up his glass and splashes the green liquid onto the bartender’s chest* AND DON’T YOU DARE SERVE ME THIS SISSY STUFF AGAIN! *Turns to walk with Reinhardt and Torbjorn as they each take one of his arms* Hey fellas easy there, where are we going OUCH Reinhardt you’re squeezing a bit hard there

 

**Reinhardt (Faintly as the group exits the room):** Quiet, don’t be such a child.

 

*Reinhardt snatches his hammer from where it leans against the wall as Torbjorn removes his from his suit. The group rushes right past Lucio who is approaching the bar*

 

**Lucio:** Whoa there guys! What’s the hurry? *shrugs in puzzlement before stepping to the bar and ordering drinks*

 

*Lucio is joined at the bar by D.Va whose arms are folded angrily as she shoots nasty glares across the room toward where a mecha stands surrounded by a group of admirers*

 

**Lucio:** Hannah! Hey!...Is...is something wrong?

 

**D.Va:** *Closes her eyes and takes a deep breath* I know it’s Zarya and Zenyatta’s day...and I don’t want to be THAT girl but…*shakes with annoyance* that amkae *translation subtitle: bitch* Ji Su was wearing the EXACT same Mecha that I was!

 

**Lucio:** *looks across the room quickly* Oh damnnnnnn 

 

**D.Va:** *Sullenly* yeah tell me about it *beckons the bartender over* all the soju you have please! *grabs his arm before he turns away* don’t misunderstand me, I don’t want a large glass of soju, I want ALL OF IT!

 

**Omnic Bartender:** *Sounding startled* Y...yes ma’am…*hands over the bottle to D.VA who snatches it and stomps away*

 

*Camera pans over the crowd, once again focusing on the table where Mercy is still sleeping despite the noise, and then settles on the dance floor where Strike Commander Morrison is dad dancing while scowling, Bastion is surrounded by a group omnic and human women, and Ana Amari is grinding with a large group of men, women, and omnics*

 

*Cut to scene of the crowd cheering as Zarya and Zenyatta descend to a hover limo outside before fading to to white with on screen text reading: Congratulations to the New Couple!*

 

**Zarya’s voice:** Robot! Let’s go *long censor bleep*

 

*Cut to view of an extremely battered looking Jesse McCree limping to his room aboard the  _ Rebirth _ , camera stays well back as he fails to close the door to his room and sits at his computer. A moment later a female voice is faintly heard*

 

**Female voice:** You look terrible, you partied hard then

 

**McCree:** Yeah *groans in pain* I wish that was the cause

 

**Female voice:** Don’t be such a baby, besides I like this look on you

 

**McCree:** Well I’m glad this is entertaining for one of us then darlin

 

**Female voice:** When are we meeting next?

 

**McCree:** We’ll be in Tangier in a week or so, how about then?

 

**Female voice:** Hmm we’ll see if I have time 

 

**McCree:** Oh it’s like that huh?

 

**Female voice:** Oh you know it’s ALWAYS like that

 

**McCree:** Wouldn’t be fun otherwise

 

**Female voice:** I need to go, my connection will be traced soon

 

**McCree:** g’night gorgeous

 

**Female voice:** Buenas Noches Vaquero

 

*McCree stands and limps back toward his door but before it close the camera catches a shot of a purple skull on his computer screen*

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life doesn't seem to understand how important it is to me to get these written, otherwise it would stop interrupting me while I'm doing so! I've gotten a lot of great feedback about the Zarya-Zenyatta as a couple so I'm sure I'll do more with them in the future. As always, thank you so much for reading and your feedback is always greatly appreciated!


	8. Chapter 8: TorbCon!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TorbCon, enough said!

Episode Eight: TorbCon

 

Location:  Overwatch Headquarters Ship  _ Rebirth _ Anchored in the Port of Stockholm

 

(Open on shot of a large briefing room with all senior members of Overwatch present, Colonel Ana Amari standing at the front of the room holding a tablet)

 

**Ana:** ...and I will expect everyone to double their efforts until Zenyatta and Zarya return from their honeymoon.

 

*low murmurs of assent as Ana taps her tablet several more times*

 

**Ana:** Now our final item *turns to look at Strike Commander Morrison who is sitting off to one side* it’s time that we discuss our senior staff team building trip. I am pleased to be able to tell you that for the first time since Overwatch was re-established Torbjorn’s schedule will allow him to attend.

 

*some cheering as Reinhardt leans over and slaps Torbjorn on the back sending him tumbling from his chair*

 

**Ana:** Now, pending medical approval from Dr. Zeigler…*trails off and looks at where Mercy is slumped in a chair next to Pharah in a deep sleep, she snores loudly while drool runs from the corner of her mouth* ...or one of her staff we will all be disembarking in two days for the exercise.

 

**Torbjorn:** *Looking ruffled as he regains his chair* and what exactly do you all do when you visit Stockholm every year?

 

*Short pause as everyone looks around with grins on their face*

 

**Brigette:** *looking incredulous* Has no one ever told him? Even I know!

 

**Ana:** We’ve….always thought it was best not to mention it

 

**Torbjorn:** Mention what?

 

**Mei:** But it seems like now is the time to tell him…

 

**Torbjorn:** TELL ME WHAT?!

 

**Hanzo:** If no one else is going to than I will-

 

**Morrison:** *Stands quickly and everyone falls silent* No! As the commanding officer here I should be the one to tell him.

 

*Everyone falls silent and waits as Morrison stares hard at Torbjorn for several long moments*

 

**Morrison:** *Breaks into a huge grin as he bellows* IT’S TORB-CON TIME BITCHESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

*Everyone but Torbjorn cheers loudly as Torbjorn looks confused*

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Torbjorn where the sounds of the rest of the senior staff cheering can still be heard in the background)

 

**Torbjorn:** What in the hell is Torb Con?!

 

(Opening Credits)

 

(One on one interview Jesse McCree who sports a black eye and several large bruises on his face)

 

**McCree:** Torb-Con is the biggest event of the Overwatch calendar, we all look forward to this all year!

 

**Interviewer (Off Camera):** What happened to your face

 

**McCree:** *looking nervously around* Uh...I...I fell down the stairs!

 

(Cut to one on one interview with D.Va)

 

**D.Va:** Torbjorn was responsible for designing and creating most of the creative core components that went into the first generation of Omnics. And so he’s kind of a big deal in the Omnic community

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Bastion)

 

**Bastion:** Bweeeeep Zzzzzrt Beep Beep Boop Murrrrrrboop *Translation subtitle: I hear Torbjorn does commercials in Japan!)

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Winston)

 

**Winston:** And so once a year tens of thousands of Omnics and humans visit Stockholm for a gigantic gathering in celebration of Torbjorn and his accomplishments.

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Strike Commander Morrison)

 

**Morrison:** *Only his torso visible in the shot while he shouts* TORB CON BITCHESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Orissa)

 

**Orissa:** I hear his beard is insured for $100,000!

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Hanzo)

 

**Hanzo:** While I don’t usually engage in such foolishly childish behavior…*breaks into a grin* Torb Con is the *Censor Bleep*

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Torbjorn)

 

**Torbjorn:** *staring down in shock shaking his head without speaking*

 

(Cut to shot of Mei, Symmetra, and Hanzo all loading crates into the back of an Overwatch shuttle)

 

**Mei:** What Torbjorn merchandise are you bringing this year Satya?

 

**Symmetra:** *using her photon projector to float a pair of boxes into the shuttle* I have been collecting scraps from Torbjorns destroyed turrets-

 

**Reinhardt (Shouting from off camera):** TORBETS!

 

**Symmetra:** *Pursing her lips* -from his torbets-

 

**Reinhardt (Shouting from off camera):** THANK YOU!

 

**Symmetra:** -all year and will be selling them at my booth.

 

**Mei:** Wow that is such a good idea! I’ve just been saving all of Torbjorn’s signatures on any form he’s submitted to me…

 

**Hanzo:** HA I’ve outdone you both!

 

**Mei:** OK what did you bring Hanzo?

 

**Hanzo:** I have been collecting the most valuable Torbjorn merchandise of all for the ENTIRE year!

 

(Cut to shot of Hanzo leaning over a sink with a tweezers wearing a magnifying lense over one eye, he hunts around the sink before extracting a long blonde hair and holding it up in triumph)

 

**Symmetra:** *Looking stunned* You don’t mean…

 

**Hanzo:** *Holding up a small crystal in triumph* YES! Authentic Torbjorn beard hairs set in crystal!

 

**Mei:** Zhè shì shèngbēi! *Translation subtitle: It’s the holy grail!*

 

*Camera pans over Hanzo’s shoulder and focuses on Torbjorn in the background who has been listening and then throws his hands in the air*

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Torbjorn)

 

**Torbjorn:** You know I have noticed that I’ve been having to sign MANY more forms that in the past.

 

(Cut to footage of Torbjorn at his work bench as Tracer approaches pushing a hover dolley)

 

**Tracer:** Torbjorn love, I have those parts that you requested from the quartermaster.

 

**Torbjorn:** *Without looking up from his work* Yes yes thank you Lena just leave them there.

 

**Tracer:** Umm actually I need you to sign for them please.

 

**Torbjorn:** *Grumbling as he turns around and takes a clipboard from Tracer before signing his name at the bottom* there are you happy?

 

**Tracer:** Actually….I need you to sign for each of them

 

**Torbjorn:** *Looks indignant* What? Individually?

 

**Tracer:** *Looking sympathetic* Yeah sorry love

 

**Torbjorn:** Why?!

 

**Tracer:** *Laughs nervously* Oh you know those guys down there...bunch of daft...ah...wankers

 

**Torbjorn:** What?

 

**Tracer:** What? Sorry? When you’re done I’ll uh...I’ll just take those forms when you’re done then

 

(Tracer paces impatiently as Torbjorn signs each form and grumbling the whole time)

 

**Torbjorn:** *Throws down the pen in disgust* there and I don’t-

 

**Tracer:** *jumps forward and snatches the clipboard away from him* OK thank you so much Torbjorn just one last thing it’s been SO LONG since we took a selfie together-

 

**Torbjorn:** -I’m certain we’ve never done that-

 

**Tracer:** *Talking fast* No time like the present then! *blinks over to Torbjorn and holds up her phone to take a picture of herself with Torbjorn and the clipboard* thanks love byeeeeeeeeee! *blinks out of the room*

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Tracer)

 

**Tracer:** Cha-Ching!

 

(Cut to news footage of a news anchor and footage of huge crowds outside a convention center)

 

**Anchor:** Well it’s that time of year again as hundreds of thousands of human and omnic visitors from around the world descend upon Stockholm for TorbCon. Held every year June, Torbcon is the celebration of Overwatch member Torbjorn Lindholm’s contributions to the design and construction of the original omnics. Now let’s go live to our reporter on the scene Reportron 7.7 for a closer look! Reportron are you there?

 

*Anchor is replaced with a camera feed showing a large crowd but no reporter*

 

**Anchor (Off Camera):** Reportron are there?

 

***** Reportron runs through the scene with his hands in the air in the background of the shot*

 

**Reportron:** *Faintly* I’m at TorbConnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

(Cut to footage from inside the convention center. Huge crowds fill the convention floor, lines outside of panel rooms stretch and stretch, and Torbjorn cosplay abounds. Footage the shifts to montage of the members of Overwatch inside the convention center)

 

(Cut to shot of D.Va standing on stage in a Torbjorn themed mecha, moving it from side to side and firing rivets into the air)

 

**D.Va:** *Voice amplified over the cheering crowd and the tinkling of rivets landing on the exclusively omnic crowd* Now lets see how you like this! *she pushes a control as her mecha’s arms shoot huge flames and a steam whistle sounds*

 

**Crowd:** *Shouting as one* MOLTEN CORE!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

(Cut to slow moving shot of one of the vendor alleys before coming to a stop to where Reinhardt and Hanzo have adjacent booths)

 

**Reinhardt:** Yes my friends! The ONE place where you can get authentic Torbjorn left arm parts! Each comes with a signed certificate of authenticity from Torbjorn himself! Come! Make an offer and lets send you home with a one of a kind collectors item!

 

**Hanzo:** Never before seen at TorbCon! Genuine Torbjorn Lindholm beard hairs set in clear crystal! Each piece comes with a certificate of genetic authenticity! Only a limited quantity will be made available this year, don’t miss out!

 

*The Crowd swarms forward and begins flinging money at Reinhardt and Hanzo*

 

**Reinhardt:** *Calling to Hanzo loud enough to be heard over the crowd* Where did you get the beard hairs?

 

**Hanzo:** *Shouting back as he starts taking orders* I’ve been scouring the locker room all year! Where did you get the arm components?

 

**Reinhardt:** *Having to refuse a baby offered in exchange for an arm part* I bribed facilities so that whenever he fills out a recycling form for one they divert it to me!

 

**Hanzo:** *Turns and looks at Reinhardt in admiration* Niceeeeeeeeeee *extends a fist*

 

**Reinhardt:** *Bumps fists* My man!

 

(Cut to shot of Brigitte working a recruitment booth for the new Iron Clad Guild before shifting again to a shot of a large cafe with a sign reading ‘Ironclad Cafe’. Camera then focus on Genji who is sitting at a large table surrounded by attractive women)

 

**Genji:** *Leaning back with his hands behind his helmet* I mean….I don’t like to brag...BUT...I know Torbjorn personally *all the women visibly swoon*

 

*Camera pans to the left where Symnetra is sitting at a similar table surrounded by attractive men*

 

**Symmetra:** Yes it’s true, I do know Torbjorn Lindholm personally *all the men swoon*

 

*Camera pans still further to the left to find Bastion sitting at another table surrounded by omnics*

 

**Bastion:** Bloooooooo Wurp Wurp Fwooo Chrr Chrr Bweep! *All the omics emit high pitched squeals of delight*

 

*Camera pans one last time to find a large knot of men, women, and omnics so large that it has to pull back to reveal Colonel Ana Amari sitting at its center*

 

**Ana:** I’m not exaggerating when I say that I am actually in CHARGE of Torbjorn *the entire crowd swoons*

 

(Cut to shot of McCree leaning against a pillar as Lucio passes by leading a Torbjorn Cosplay conga line. As he watches a short woman wearing full Torbjorn cosplay leans against the opposite side of the pillar)

 

**Short Woman:** *Speaking while looking in the other direction* Hey there cowboy

 

**McCree:** *Still watching the conga line* Well hey there gorgeous

 

**Short Woman:** You looked like you were having fun with that girl earlier, what was she? 17?

 

**McCree:** *Chuckling* Now now there’s no need to be jealous, or to spy on me for that matter, if you want some time you just need to come say hi civil like.

 

**Short Woman:** ¿Celoso? No te halagues Cowboy *translation subtitle: Jealous? Don’t flatter yourself cowboy*

 

**McCree:** Want to get out of here?

 

**Short Woman:** *Turning her head ever so slightly and adjusting her cosplay beard* Of course not? Why would I want to leave TorbCon? I just got here!

 

**McCree:** *Looking surprised* You’re a Torbjorn fan?

 

**Short Woman:** Who isn’t? Are you not Torb-born?

 

**McCree:** What?

 

**Short Woman:** Thats what we call ourselves, the fans I mean, we’re the Torb-born

 

**McCree:** But I’ve literally seen you shoot at Torbjorn before!

 

**Short Woman:** SHHHHHHHHH *looks around in concern* do you want to get me banned from TorbCon or something? Besides, that was just business. I’ve shot at you before.

 

**McCree:** *Smiling again* But you always missed

 

**Short Woman:** So did you, besides...who knows if I’ll miss next time

 

**McCree:** *Still grinning as he lights a cigar* we’ll have to see won’t we?

 

**Short Woman:** *steps around the pillar and slaps the cigar out of his mouth and grinds it out* TIPO! *translation subtitle: dude!* Are you TRYING to get us kicked? *takes McCree’s hand* now c’mon cowboy, you can buy me some Torb merch!

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Strike Commander Morrison)   
  


**Morrison:** I know people perceive me as this stickler for rules who can’t ever relax but it’s not true. Sure I believe in discipline but I enjoy some R&R as much as anyone.

 

(Cut to shot of Morrison, wearing a button up shirt, khaki shorts, high socks, sandals, a fanny pack, and a fisherman’s hat taking pictures through a film camera. He is suddenly shoved to one side as the entire crowd begins hurrying toward the exits)

 

**Morrison:** What in the hell?

 

*Someone in the crowd starts shouting*

 

**Passerby:** Oh my god! Oh my god! He’s here! They say he’s really coming this year!

 

*The crowd continues to buzz and murmur excitedly as Morrison is pushed over to one side where he finds Winston also trying to stay out of the way*

 

**Morrison:** Winston, what’s going on?

 

**Winston:** *Standing pressed against the wall as he presses his glasses up his nose* I believe that a rumor started that Torbjorn would be arriving soon.

 

**Morrison:** That’s crazy, he never attends TorbCon

 

***** Someone in crowd begins shouting: “HE’S HERE! HIS CAR JUST ARRIVED!”. The entire mass begins pushing and shoving toward the doors*

 

**Winston:** *Lifting a gorilla sized Torbjorn beard to his face and sliding the strap over his head* Well...let's go see how this goes.

 

**Morrison:** *Tapping his earpiece* Everyone, listen up, someone needs to alert Angela to be ready in case there is some kind of stampede. Fareeha, is she with you?

 

**Pharah (Over the radio):** Umm actually… she didn’t come…

 

*A long silent pause*

 

**Morrison:** Fareeha? Do your copy? 

 

**Pharah (Over the radio):** Oh, my bad. I’m sorry Commander I forgot Zenyatta wasn’t here. I’m so used to leaving a pause after every time I use that word I guess it’s just a habit now.

 

**Mei (Over the radio):** Understandable, I sometimes catch myself doing that to.

 

**Lucio (Over the radio):** Yeah, me too

 

**Orissa (Over the radio):** I too do this

 

**Morrison:** ENOUGH! Fareeha, where is Dr. Zeigler?

 

**Pharah (Over the radio):** Ummm...she was...not feeling up to coming *short pause) oops sorry, did it again, anyway she wasn’t feeling up to it after the wedding.

 

(Cut to shot of the briefing room from earlier in the episode where Mercy is still slumped over the table sleeping as a janitor uses a duster on her her back and arms before cutting back to Morrison)

 

**Morrison:** I see…

 

**Ana (Over the radio):** Lucio you and I will have to be on standby

 

**Lucio (Over the radio):** Got it!

 

**Morrison:** Alright everyone, let’s move.

 

(Cut to shot of the front of the convention center where a crowd of thousands is clustered in the parking lot as a single hover car pulls up on the street. The air is completely silent as as it comes to a stop. There is a short pause before the door begins to open)

 

*End Credits*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here! TorbCon! It's always fun to write these but it's even more fun when it's something like this. Don't worry though, Double-Z will be back next episode! Thanks for reading and double thanks for any feedback you honor me with!


	9. Chapter 9: TorbCon Pt. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When TorbCon takes a bad turn...who ya gonna call?! A narcoleptic and two probably nymphomaniacs that's who! (Mercy, Zarya, and Zenyatta).

Episode Seven: TorbCon Part II

 

Location:  Overwatch Headquarters Ship  _ Rebirth _ Anchored in the Port of Stockholm

 

(Camera focused on the door of the quarters shared by Dr. Angela Ziegler and Fareeha Amari, an alarm clock goes off inside the room. A minute passes and the door is opened by a sleepy looking Mercy wearing a robe)

 

**Mercy:** Ja Ja *translation subtitle: yes yes* I saw the note that today was my day with you, come in.

 

*The camera follows Mercy as she moves slowly through her morning routine, obviously still very groggy*

 

**Mercy:** *Looks directly at camera* Oh my *yawns heavily* how long have I been sleeping?

 

**Camera Operator (Off Camera):** Several days

 

**Mercy:** *Blinks once at the camera and stares silently for a few moments before going back to her routine* Yes that seems about right.

 

*Scene jumps to Mercy sitting in front of her mirror applying her makeup*

 

**Mercy:** It is POSSIBLE that I pushed myself a tiny bit too hard with the wedding planning. But fortunately I have an excellent staff here who are more than capable of seeing the medical needs of the ship if I am...ah...indisposed for a short time-

 

**Camera Operator (Off Camera):** Several days

 

**Mercy:** A...SHORT...TIME…*takes a moment to collect herself before going back to her makeup* but yes I am looking forward to being back at my job. No doubt the senior staff have already done something today that will need my attention.

 

**Camera Operator (Off Camera):** Actually they are all TorbCon

 

*makeup brush clatters to the counter as Mercy turns quickly to stare into the camera with one half of her face done*

 

**Mercy:** They’re...where...again? 

 

**Camera Operator (Off Camera):** At TorbCon

 

**Mercy:** *Stares into the camera for over a minute before speaking in a strained voice* Oh....I see....so no ONE bothered to wake me up for TorbCon...well that’s fine...I’m sure they just thought I needed my sleep...very...sweet of them… *another long pause as she turns back to mirror and continues to try and apply makeup but with a visibly shaking hand* I...am...FINE...ARRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHH *Mercy turns and lunges at the Camera*

 

(Opening Credits Play)

 

(Open on a shot of Mercy sitting across from the Overwatch HR director clearly being shouted at)

 

(Cut to one on one interview with Mercy)

 

**Mercy:** *Reading off a sheet of paper, still with half her makeup done* I, Doctor Angela Ziegler, would hereby like to apologize for my actions earlier today. I clearly overreacted and have agreed to attend…*closes her eyes and inhales sharply*...TEN sessions of HR supervised conflict resolution classes and regret my actions extremely.

 

(Cut to shoot of Mercy in her office sitting at her desk, finally finishing her mascara)

 

**Mercy:** Well this morning has been...challenging...but I’m happy to be back at work and I am...calm. Athena? How many messages do I have?”

 

**Athena:** *Voice coming from the air* Good morning Dr. Ziegler, you have 71 messages, 72 messages, 73 messages, 77 messages, 83 messages, 89 messages, 101 messages, 107-

 

**Mercy:** *Looking startled* Athena? Are your systems operating optimally? Are you alright?

 

**Athena:** I am well Dr. Ziegler, your inbox has been receiving a steady stream of incoming messages all morning.

 

**Mercy:** *Rolls her eyes and mutters*  Was haben sie jetzt gemacht? *Translation Subtitle: What have they done now?* Alright Athena just start playing the most recent *goes back to her mascara*

 

**Athena:** Playing message from Strike Commander Morrison

 

**Morrison (Recording):** Angela, we need you at TorbCon now, get out here ASAP!

 

**Mercy:** *Muttering* yeah...rub it in Jack

 

**Athena:** Next Message from: Fareeha Amari

 

**Pharah (Recording):** Angela, I know you’re probably still sleeping but if you get this please hurry out to TorbCon-

 

**Mercy:** *Annoyed* Oh mein god you little ho...first Jack and then you? *learns forward and focuses on what she’s doing again*

 

**Athena:** Next message from: Colonel Ana Amari

 

**Mercy:** I swear if this is another OWWWW-

 

*Mercy shouts as she pokes herself in the eye with her mascara brush. She is startled by an enormous roar coming from the message*

 

**Ana (Recording):** ANGELA- *cut off by roaring and static* -bzzt...HURRY…*crackle*...EMERGENCY *drowned out by another swelling of noise*

 

**Mercy:** *Long string of censored expletives as she presses a hand to her eyes* Ahhhh Athena!

 

**Athena:** Yes Dr. Ziegler?

 

**Mercy:** *Pressing a patch over her eye* Is there ANYONE left to get out there with?

 

**Athena:** Mister and Misses Zenyatta-Zaryanova have just returned from their honeymoon in Branson, Missouri.

 

**Mercy:** *Pauses and looks up into the air in surprise* They went where? They BOTH hyphenated? Why would they hyphenate? Nevermind just have them meet me in the hanger bay and haven an aircraft ready for us!

 

**Athena:** Yes Doctor

 

(Cut to shot of Mercy hurrying toward the hanger bay in full armor carrying her Caduceus staff)

 

**Mercy:** *Talking over her shoulder to the camera* When we get there you MUST stay in the jet, we don’t know how dangerous it will be- OWWW *yelps in pain and she walks into the side of the doorway.

 

**Zenyatta:** *Floating over and sounding concerned* Doctor Ziegler are you alright?

 

**Mercy:** *Shaking her head* I’m...I’m fine my depth perception is just a bit off I’m afraid

 

**Zenyatta:** What happened to your eye?

 

**Zarya:** *Joining the group* Whatever you and flying woman do in bedroom...you must share!

 

**Mercy:** *Flushing* It’s not- nevermind *looks over at preparing jet* we still have a few minutes it seems so ah...how was your honeymoon?

 

**Zarya:** Was magical! We have seen Charo, Charlie Daniels band, Osmunds, and of course…*looks over at Zenyatta with a grin*

 

**Zenyatta and Zarya:** OKLAHOMA where the wind comes sweepin down the plains, and the waving wheat sure smells sweet when the wind-

 

**Mercy:** *Holds up her hands* Alright! Alright! I’m glad you had so much fun though, I am very happy for you two I-

 

**Zenyatta:** But wait doctor! We haven’t told you the best part we *one long continuous censor bleep as he proceeds to wave his arms and make several gestures that would be impossible for a human*

 

**Zarya:** And then we got these tattoos LOOK! *both turn to reveal tattoos on their backs that are completely censored* and after we went back to *another long censor bleep that lasts for over two minutes with gestures including a T-Rex, breaststroke, and kung fu impressions*

 

*Cut to shot of Mercy just blinking at them*

 

(Shot of the interior of the jet where Zenyatta is sitting on Zarya’s lap as the pair giggles and Mercy sits by herself on the opposite side of the jet clinging to her staff protectively while staring with shell shocked expression at the deck)

 

(Cut to scene with Strike Commander Morrison crouching behind a tipped over Torbjorn statue with Lucio. The interior of the convention center is flame and ruin around them as hordes of stampeding TorbCon attendees rampage around)

 

**Morrison:** *Screaming at Lucio over the noise* We need more support! Wasn’t Dr. Zhou with you?!

 

**Lucio:** *Breathing hard with his back pressed up against the statue and looking shaken* she was...but they got her!

 

**Morrison:** *Peeking over the statue to look around* DAMN IT! 

 

*Camera pans upward to see a cryo-frozen Mei being sailing by overhead*

 

**Morrison:** *Shouting* We need to get Torbjorn out of here! That might calm the crowd down!

 

**Lucio:** We can’t do that on our own!

 

**Morrison:** *Pressing his earpiece* This is Morrison! Is anyone still receiving?!

 

(Scene shifts to McCree and Sombra hiding behind a vendor table)

 

**McCree:** Don’t worry darling, if anyone gets too close I’ll throw another flashbang 

 

**Sombra:** *Smirking* Oh I’m not worried at all...not for me *stands up up and whistles loudly before shouting to the crowd* Oye! This guy has an authentic Torbjorn autographed beard comb! *crowd roars and begins stampeding toward the booth*

 

**McCree:** What the hell are you doing?

 

**Sombra:** *Kissing him quickly* Make sure and call me soon cowboy, this has been the best date I’ve ever been on! *lifts and finger and taps McCree on the nose* boop! *vanishes in a purple flash*

 

**McCree:** *Grinning as he takes out more flashbangs* god I love her

 

(Cut to view of Winston, Tracer, and Ana huddled in the very center of the convention floor inside Winston’s barrier)

 

**Winston:** The barrier can’t hold forever!

 

**Reinhardt (Somewhere off camera):** HEY! THAT’S MY LINE!

 

**Winston:** *Ignoring him* Only fire over their heads Lena!

 

**Tracer:** *blinking around the bubble and driving back the fans with her blasters* I know big guy!

 

**Ana:** *Sleep darting fan after fan* Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep! Bed time!

 

(Cut to shot of Reinhardt and Brigitte running through the convention center casually knocking people aside)

 

**Reinhardt:** AH THIS IS THE BEST TORBCON EVERRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!! *bats a pair of omnics fighting over a t-shirt out of the way* 

 

**Brigitte:** Don’t kill anyone Reinhardt! *shield bashes a fan*

 

**Reinhardt:** I wouldn’t dream of it squire!

 

(Cut to shot outside the convention center where the parking lot is in flames as the Overwatch jet lands)

 

**Mercy:** Alright you two! Remember we’re not here kill ANYONE! We’re here to try and restore order!

 

**Zenyatta:** Absolutely doctor

 

**Zarya:** *Racks particle cannon* No promises

 

**Mercy:** *Looks over at her* No! No! YES promises! No killing anyone!

 

**Zarya:** *Looks back with a knowing look* Oh right…’No killing” *winks at Mercy before running down the ramp*

 

**Mercy:** *Shouting after her* ZARYA! I MEANT IT! I NEVER WINKED AT YOU!

 

**Zarya (Off Camera):** Under your patch! I know you did!

 

**Zenyatta:** Ahhhh there goes my beautiful bride…*floats off after her*

 

**Mercy:** Gottverdammt! *Translation subtitle: god damn it!* Those two *presses her ear piece* Strike Commander this is Dr. Ziegler I’ve arrived with Zenyatta and Zarya!

 

**Morrison (Over the Radio):** Angela? GOOD! Did you tell Zarya no killing?!

 

**Mercy:** I tried Jack! But-

 

**Morrison (Over the Radio):** God Damn it Ziegler! You KNOW you can’t blink when you tell her that! She will ALWAYS say it was a wink!

 

**Mercy:** I-

 

**Morrison (Over the Radio):** Nevermind! We’ll discuss it later! Do you see the big hole in the front of the center?

 

*Camera pans over the front of the building to reveal a wrecked facade*

 

**Mercy:** Jack! It’s nothing BUT big holes!

 

**Zenyatta (Off Camera):** PHRASING!

 

**Lucio (Faintly through Morrison’s radio):** Is it weird that I’ve missed him saying that?

 

**Morrison (Over the Radio):** Shut up! *sting of pulse munitions blast out through the largest hole* did you see that Angela?

 

**Mercy:** Got it Jack! I’m coming to you now!

 

**Zenyatta (Off Camera):** Oh come on! You could have said ‘for’!

 

*Mercy takes flight and streaks toward the opening before colliding with the wall to one side of it*

 

(Camera pans to behind Zenyatta and Zarya)

 

**Zenyatta:** Ohhhhhh that looked like it hurt

 

**Zarya:** Depth perception...she should not be flying with eye patch

 

(On Screen Text: 4 hours later)

 

*Camera pans across the members of overwatch sitting and looking exhausted on the front steps of the convention center. D. Va is sweeping up parts of her mech, Mei cradling snowball, Winston’s hair is burned off in several places, Hanzo is holding a finger one inch from Genji’s helmet, Bastion is covered in food, and Orissa is missing an arm. All eyes are fixed on Zarya who is cradling a smashed and broken Zenyatta in her lap. A bruised and haggard looking Mercy stands by looking impatient*

 

**Zarya:** Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 

**Mercy:** He’s going to be fine

 

**Zarya:** *Ignoring her* He cannot leave me now! We just got married

 

**Mercy:** He’s not going to

 

**Zarya:** *Ignoring her and beginning to sob* I can’t face this world without you robot!

 

**Mercy:** You won’t have to it will literally take me one moment to fix this

 

**Zenyatta:** *Ignoring Mercy and reaching a quivering hand up toward Zarya’s face* You must my love, even when I am one with the Iris I will always be watching you. Please….be *coughs*...happy

 

**Mercy:** She won’t have to do that either and you are not dying 

 

**Zarya:** *Still ignoring Mercy* I can’t my sweet Omnic Prince! I’ll stay here with you forever

 

**Mercy:** You guys aren’t listening to a word I’m saying are you?

 

**Zenyatta:** Please do my love...I...I think I’ll be checking out soon…

 

**Mercy:** Anything? Hello?

 

**Zarya:** Not an option!

 

**Mercy:** Poop, butt, fart is ANYONE paying attention to the doctor here?

 

**Zenyatta:** *In a very weak voice* I think...I’ll just...rest my eyes for awhile

 

**Mercy:** If you’re not listening then I’ll say it: who in their right mind honeymoons in Branson, Missouri?

 

**Zarya:** *Sobs* No! Keep your eyes on me!

 

**Mercy:** And those tattoos? They’re tacky!

 

**Zenyatta:** *In a whisper* That...is...all I ever...want to keep my eyes on....my carbon based princess

 

**Mercy:** AND you never thanked me for planning your wedding!

 

**Zarya:** Don’t you quit on me robot! We’re not finished! 

 

**Zenyatta:** *Giggles weakly* heh...name...of...our...sex tape…

 

*His hand goes limp, his head rolls back, and he powers down*

 

**Zarya:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**Mercy:** *Rolls her eyes and watches for a few moments before speaking in a half bored half annoyed voice* Heroes never die.

 

*Zenyatta resurrects as good as new*

 

**Zenyatta:** *Looks at his body* Oh...sweet. Death is not permanent! Now come here you! *jumps into Zarya’s arms

 

*The begin graphically making out, Zarya mostly just licking Zenyatta’s face*

 

**D.Va:** *Clears her throat uncomfortably* So….should we?

 

**Winston:** *Sniffling* SHUT UP! IT’S A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT!

 

(End Credits Play)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes friends! NeverWatch doth lives! I have a bunch of other works I'm trying to keep in the air but I did not forget about you! Expect more soon because if Hammond isn't gold for a story like this one then I don't know what is!
> 
> Special thanks to CheeseGirl for believing in this work enough to harass me into writing more.

**Author's Note:**

> So I've wanted to write a some Overwatch FanFic for a long time (someplace to dump all the head canon's I create) and I hope you enjoy it! It certainly keeps me smiling! If you like my stuff please consider my other series "The Jade Cantata" which is set in the world of the "A Song of Ice and Fire"


End file.
